September 24, 2004

Michael Jackson

1. "Mr Jackson has spoken openly about sharing his bed with young children, saying it is "beautiful," nonsexual and nothing to be ashamed of." He obviously was not assamed of sharing his bed with young boys, because he procalaimed to the world 2. "in a documentary tha first aired on BBC television in England in February and later on ABC in this country, Mr. Jackson and a young boy talk about sharing Mr. Jackson's bedroom in Neverland.

A transition is needed to tie the two paragraphs together. It is important for the reader to understand that Mr. Jackson made the quote regarding seeing no poblem sharing his bed with young boys, and then he did a documentary. the two are very closely linked in topic and reason.
Transitions help to smooth a paper it allows the reader to follow the topic with the ease and flow of the changing topics.

Bonus transitionary paragraphs:
"Kerry said that the number of terrorist attacts around the world had increased last year." "The president's misjudgement, miscalculation, and mismanagement on the war in Iraq all make the war on terrorism harder to win."
This is a example of two parpagraphs back to back that could use a better transition.

"Because of a legal technicality Briany Spears and Kevin Federline won't officially be married until the minister who officiated their ceremony last Saturday signs thier marriage liscense, which should happen any day now." "Neverless a suprise wedding with all the time honored traditions........
Neverless was a good transitionary word to begin the next paragraph with.

Posted by lith0004 at September 24, 2004 11:35 AM
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