September 24, 2004

Transition

Transition

The article that I read was from The New York Times, and was about a study on the links of higher speed limits to deaths. The article was well written and very interesting. The base of the article is about the report form the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety. It gives many testimonials and states facts and even has chart for you to look at and know how fast people are driving in different states. Although this article has a lot of information it is missing or could use a little work on some transition sentences.
The first transition sentence that I would like to change is in the ninth paragraph. It talks about how they have a study that says that they raised the speed limits to 70mph and people would go 75mph or higher and cause many more deaths. It then goes into how most of the stats that went to a higher speed were in the West. Then the next paragraph goes into how the people that lived in states with a higher speed limit tend to drive faster. I would change the way they put those paragraphs together. I would have went and stated that many people in the west are allowing the speed limit to be raised and this is causing more deaths and this is because of higher speed limits. I then would have stated that when they raise the speed limit it just causes people to go faster to drive about that speed limit.
The second transition that I would change comes at the end of the article. It is talking about how it is harmful to drive faster. They say that raising speed limits is harmful and then the next paragraph into how many deaths there are in speed accidents. I would have just slightly changed this transition by saying that raising speed limits are harmful because people are less safe when they drive fast and cause many accidents. Then go into how many deaths were caused by high-speed accidents. These are my thoughts on what I would change these transitions sentences to.
Transitions sentences are important to writing because it is how you keep your reader interested. It also, helps you keep things that you are writing about in order and make since. Finally, transitions are important so that the reading is smooth and connecting.

Posted by sext0066 at September 24, 2004 11:39 AM