Genre conventions that I will aim to adhere to are targeting the audience which shouldn't be too much of a challenge. The more engaged the reader is with the paper, the more positive they will feel about the paper. Relating things to the audience shouldn't be too hard since a lot of people are involved in my topic or have at least heard of it. Active voice will be vital in keeping the reader engaged so I plan to do that as well. I might go back and reword some things to try and use the kairos and chronos method of anticipation because I realized how good of a tool that is for convincing. Using those methods would be a good way to be creative in the paper because it would take some thinking from a different viewpoint. I really like it when you get your audience to think about things in a different way. Voice is extremely important in a paper because it determines how a reader feels as they read and its surprising how much a few sentences can change how the reader looks at other areas of the paper. It can be both good and bad depending how you use it. Overall you have to find a way to connect to your audience through voice, structure, how the paper is presented.
In our final paper there are many elements of diction genre. Some of these elements include using active voice no “to be”, having certain source and siting requirements, page requirements, being specific and fair to both sides while following a logical flow with arguments. I will be using genre in a social aspect to zone in on a particular audience; write how students would read my paper. My paper is on a newer scientific controversial topic so I have to use genre in science and show all the recent changing accomplishments in the field. Genre is very important to a paper, as Ms. Tshider said on Wednesday, genre is always linked to power, and as the writer of a convince and persuade paper we have all the power and genre in our hands.
The diction genre creates boundaries in writing such as no “to be” verbs, etc. In some senses the genre slightly pushes the writer to be creative with the paper by using active voice and getting all passive, commonly used words and sentences, out. From there, the writer has the structure of the paper set up from the genre and can be creative with that. Genre also includes visuals and diagrams. You can spice up the genre a bit by adding visuals the writer feels to be appropriate.
When writing in the genre to inform convince and persuade structure, audience, and voice are all very important.
For a paper to be effectively informative, it should have a proper structure. This means being clear and orderly in what is written, if it is not written in a clear manner, the reader may not understand quite what is being discussed, and they will be improperly informed.
Considering your audience is key when writing a paper. Your audience will determine your style of writing, whether is aggressive, sympathetic ect. You must write to appeal to the certain audience. You want to appear to have credibility by being honest and ethical in what you are saying, an audience will not be properly persuaded if they that you are unethical in your means of persuasion.
The voice used when writing is another aspect to writing these papers that largely make a difference in how the paper will affect the reader. We want to eliminate passive voice so that the writing remains interesting and memorable. We want more action words so that the paper does not seem to pointlessly ‘drone on’.
I will attempt to make use of all these aspects of writing in my paper to make it a well-written and effective paper. I will attempt to keep my information organized and presented in a manner that has a good ‘flow’ and will make sense to the reader. I will also try to make sure to explain thoroughly any topic that may confuse the reader, so that they will have a full understanding of my issue. I will be sure to cite sources of information so the reader knows that the information is coming from a reliable source, and so that they know that I am a responsible writer by not taking credit for information that is not mine originally. I will also be sure to point out arguments from the opposite side of the topic, so that they are made aware of other points of view on the issue. I have done my best in my writing to eliminate passive voice so that my writing is more interesting and will hopefully captivate and hold the readers interest.
There are many genre conventions to which I will adhere. I will use formal diction because this is a formal paper. It also makes the paper sound more professional and does not speak down to the reader. I will use active voice in my paper because we are required to. Active voice tends to be more descriptive and flowing. I will use academic sources because that adds to the creditability of my paper. If I used bad or non-creditable sources then my paper would not be taken seriously. I will meet the page requirement because I would like full credit. I have written both the history and the controversy already. The history has been written first to inform the reader about the issue. Then both sides of the controversy are presented. Both sides are equally presented so we don’t short change the reader and they are fully aware of the issues and arguments on both sides of the controversy. The next step is to convince the reader to that the side you are arguing for is correct and something should be done. This is done because you must convince your reader before you persuade them. It is unethical to persuade before you have convinced. I will also use the sandwich method with my quotes to fully inform the reader of the meaning and the creditability of the quote. It is important to sandwich your quotes because they should not stand-alone and they must be interpreted so the reader clearly understands what you interpreted the quote to mean. I am presenting both sides of the controversy because it is unethical to argue one side when the reader is not fully informed about the other side. I am also using specific arguments and examples in my paper to clearly show the reader my point. I am also using logical flow in my paper to create a flow. It is hard to follow a paper that jumps around from one topic to the next, so I am writing mine so the reader can follow the topics. If you confuse your reader you are not going to convince them, they will just be left confused.
I will try to adhere to many genres in my paper. I will try to eliminate all of the passive voice throughout my paper. This means I will be trying to use all active voice. This will help me as a writer to be more persuasive and have more meaning behind my words. It will increase the power that I can add to my paper as well. I could also write more for my audience. This would make the paper seem more interesting. It would also make the reader want to understand where I am coming from with the points I have made. I could also refurbish my diction. I could make the paper easier to understand; so all audiences could read it. This would increase the knowledge of the younger generations about my topic. Another thing that I could do would be to put more logic in my paper. This will make it so everyone can understand my exact train of thought. Then, the audience will know where I am coming from in the decisions that I make about my paper.
I can also be inventive and creative within the bounds that I have set for myself. I can think up new ideas about the moral and ethics behind what is already stated. I can also use pictures to invoke other’s imaginations more clearly. By making the reader more interested in my paper by using these ideas, I can make my paper more understood and wanted by the readers. This would enhance the overall experience of reading my paper.
I will try and include genres throughout my paper. These genres will be writing style and form, formal voice eliminating the passive voices in my paper, persuasion, and diction. Style will be written according to my audience and how I see fit on how much education and knowledge they have on the subject, I will fill them in with history and information about my topic first and then persuade them with facts. This way my paper will be easier to read and understand. Active voice will be used without passive voices or forms of “to be” to make my paper sound more credible and believable. Active voice will also bring my reader in and make the paper more interesting to sit down and read the whole entire paper instead of being bored and quit reading the paper I wrote using passive voice. Persuasion will include history that I pointed out in the “debriefing” part of my paper and use information that counteracts the other side’s opposition.
I will be creative in the fact, I will include pictures of what I am trying to prove and state in my paper to help my persuasion. I will include stories to touch the reader’s lives to set an emotional appeal throughout my paper. My paper will be fun and exciting to read but yet easy and hard on the issues at hand at the same time. I think having an exciting paper will make the reader want to read it as well as enjoy reading it. Using active voice and including ethos, pathos and logos throughout the paper as well will fulfill the requirements of bring my reader in.
Some of the genre that I have adhered to is active voice, no forms of “to be”. Also source requirements, using sources, and citing your sources. Another is the page requirement of 16 pages. Organization, starting with history and using sandwich method. Formal paper, no contractions such as “don’t”. Being fair to both side of the controversy. And logical flow, premises. These are important to writing our paper since it gives use structure. The genre sets the time period and style for the paper. It develops the social aspects.
Within these bonds of writing there is still a lot of room to be inventive and creative. I was able to up with a controversy of choice. I choose what I wanted to argue for and against. I choose the arguments I wanted to use. And I was able to search for the sources I wanted to back my arguments. There is a lot of flexibility within the requirements to make your paper our own, the requirements just sets up the structure and flow of your paper. Within the structure and flow your paper is your own.
There are many different genre conventions to which I will adhere to in my paper. Our paper has many different elements of genre, many of which I have used in my own paper. Even though I am adhering to these conventions, I am still able to be creative.
One of these major elements includes using a two-sided argument. It is necessary in our paper to use an argument that has two distinct sides and to argue both sides. I have done this because my topic is file-sharing, and the two different sides include people who approve of file-sharing, and those who think that it should stay illegal and have consequences.
Another important aspect in our genre includes the type of writing. For example, these include the formal diction, having logical flow, and using the sandwich method. I haven’t looked too much into the formal diction, so I am not sure how much I am adhering to this aspect. However, I believe that I have used logical flow and the sandwich method throughout my paper. Sometimes I have trouble organizing my paper to make it flow and I have tried to successfully make my paper logical. By using the sandwich method, I introduce what I’m going to say, I say it, and then I interpret it, and transition into my next point.
These aspects are important in our papers because if you are going to accurately persuade people, there needs to be organization. Using a two-sided argument makes it easy on the reader and makes it easier to understand what is going on when there are only two sides. Also, it makes you more credible and they are more likely to be persuaded when you use formal diction and have logical flow. Also, by using the sandwich method, the reader can fully understand what you’re trying to say.
There are many different ways to be creative, despite these boundries. While I need to use a two-sided argument, there are many different arguments out there, and this convention of genre was not limiting at all. Also, by needing to use active voice and formal diction, it can push the writer to use more active verbs. This way, the writing seems much more creative because the writing has a larger variety in vocabulary. When using a logical flow and the sandwich method, it is only restricting in the set up of the writing, and not restricting in the content. Because of this, it leaves open many areas of creativity so that you can write about whatever you want within that guided outline.
In my paper for genres I will include style, register/diction, structure/forum, active voice, persuasion, audience and others. For style I will choose one that fits my selected audience and that makes me sound credible and present my information in a manner that will be regarded with respect. Register/diction will be presented in a way that makes it easy for my audience to follow but not make them feel as if they do not know what is going on. For structure/forum I will right so that the structure is in a paper format in a way that is logical and something that will be easily followed. I will write in active voice to make myself sound like I really know what I’m talking about and try to pull the reader in by using powerful language and writing techniques. I will also use my writing to persuade people to believe in what I have to say in a way that is not forceful but still pulls them in. Also I will write to an audience that has some idea of what previous arguments but yet is still searching for more. Writing to a specific audience will help me shape my paper. Also this will help me to better get a feel for my writing because it will have a specific purpose and will allow me to be more creative and insightful when I write.
I will be inventive and creative with in my paper by having fun with writing it. When I am writing to an audience I can write like I am talking to them trying to pull them into what I have to say. Having fun and being creative with the writing will help me write a paper that looks and sounds better when read. Being creative is a little harder in a paper like this because it a little more serious. To be creative takes some work but is achievable. What I have to do is find stories and quotes that will fit into my paper and be prime examples for my arguments. I will try to make them as compelling as possible so I can take hold of the reader and hopefully have them switch to my side w/out any doubt. Being inventive might even be harder then being creative. Yet to be creative I will have to be inventive at the same time. If my opponent has an argument that is hard to argue against I will have to come up with a way to argue it with an argument that isn’t quite as strong. When doing that I will have to choose my words carefully and by language selection I will be able to sound more knowledgeable then my opponent and produce an argument that sounds better.
My paper on same-sex marriages includes an informative and persuasive style. I tried to persuade my audience in being for same-sex marriages and I still have to persuade a little more in the additional two pages. It is important because I will try to persuade my audience to do something about the inequality between homosexuals and heterosexuals. I first stated the points on homosexual relationships in the past. My paper is currently at the present time. It is in the present time because same-sex marriages are not allowed in any state, yes there are civil unions but no one living in the United States have the right to marry there lover of the same-sex. I tried to used active voice throughout my paper, but yet there still might be a little passive voice in my paper, I will try and correct that for my final draft. Throughout my paper I tried to avoid the contractions, and I think I might have done a good job with that but that is about it. In my paper, I am going to try and connect my visuals into the body of my text, and refer to the picture that are located in the appendix. I want to try and find more visuals that are meaningful to my paper. I think I might have used a little too many quotes from the authors I used, I need to read my paper over and over to get things out of my paper that I do not need. All of these items are important because they make a better paper overall. In the paper we have been writing there were certain paper requirements, and I had a little trouble meeting them with my history, so I have to go back and add more history so I can have the right amount of page numbers.
How will I be inventive and creative within these bounds is a good question. I will try to do something unique that no one has done. I want to find really good visuals to relate into my paper. Maybe a unique way of something would be to describe a certain situation I have been in related to my topic. Maybe I can take a poll around campus or around my dorm and see how many people are for and against same-sex marriages and if they would do anything to help push the government in allowing same-sex marriages. I guess I need to brainstorm a little more on everything. But one thing I do have to mention is that I am so happy this is my last writing assignment.
The genres that I will adhere to in this paper are things like page requirement, topic of a controversy, and an attempt to write in an active voice. I think the biggest genre that I will follow is the general structure of the paper, formatted through premises. I will attempt to adhere to all these requirements that are given to me by the teacher as means to follow instruction and the outline requirements of the paper. These genres are important first off because I will be graded on my ability to adhere to these genres, further motivating me to follow these genres. These genres are also important as means to write a thro and convincing paper. I think that the genres are enough so that there are certain guidelines provided however, I think they leave room for creativity. One way that I will be creative in these boundaries is by first choosing a topic of my own personal interest or one which I an interested in studying. I think once again the boundaries are open in deciding what side you lay on, whether it is for or against your controversy. In deciding your position, I think that you get the ultimate creativity in deciding how your paper is going to be received, what points you want to stress, and what side you want to convince your audience of. I think just some general genres on what the paper is required to do, is essential in getting across the type of paper one wants to read. I hope to fulfill all these genre requirements in my paper while being creative and persuasive with in these boundaries.
The genre we follow for this paper has some specific guidelines to which we must adhere. For instance, one of the key requirements is length. Our paper is to be sixteen pages in length. This requirement is actually important, while the paper may seem extremely long at first I found that over time the requirement is not extensive. I do not believe that I could properly make my case with enough information to be persuasive in anything less than sixteen pages. Another important genre convention we follow is the use of active voice. The active voice really enhances a paper. It was difficult for me to get used to using active voice, but I realize that my paper does sound much better with that form in place. Along with that active voice we follow another genre convention in the general way the paper is written. Keeping in mind audience is a key to a successful paper. In this project I am writing to my peers who are educated but may be unfamiliar with the topic. By keeping this in mind as well as my genre convention I believe that my paper sounds intelligent but also understandable. My genre would change if I were writing to a group of scientists or experts in the field. I believe that this is the most important part of genre. No matter how good a paper may be, if it is not written with the audience in mind it will not be a successful piece.
While there are several restrictions that keep my paper with the genre mentioned above, I have found ways to make my paper unique. I have included headings in my paper that help to divide it in the way that I feel will be most influential. In addition I have displayed my creativity in my writing. For instance I have used a person experience to help illustrate one of my main arguments. This personal account gives my paper its own identity while staying within my genre boundaries. Lastly, I have included photos as part of my paper. These pictures allow me to make points more poignant while maintaining the formalities of the genre. By using several small things to enhance my paper I believe that my creativity shines through.
There are a lot of genre specifics that I’ve thought about while writing my paper. The major thing that I’ve been concerned with is active voice. Sometimes I read my paper specifically to find all of the passive voice and try to take it out. This is important because active voice is much more persuasive, descriptive, and direct. The other major type of genre that I will use is a specific style. When talking about animals it is very important to say things in a specific way. For example, it’s really important to use the right kinds of words when talking about animals that are abused. When being persuasive, you want to use powerful language without embellishing so much that the audience doesn’t think you’re telling the truth. Since many people in the United States go to the circus, I had to be careful about what I said about people who support the circus. My paper is very audience-specific. It is geared toward the common public who has seen many animals in the circus without giving it a second thought.
I think that my paper is the most persuasive by how I organize it. For example, first describing how cute and innocent animals are and then describing how miserable their lives are. I tried to do this to catch people into feeling very badly for the animals. I also think that my visual aids will be very persuasive. They say a lot in a way that everyone understands them. Creativity with the active voice worked to my advantage.
It forced me to think of new vocabulary and even though it took a long time to revise some of the sentences, at the end the sentences were much more powerful. I also learned new forms of sentence structure that put variety into my paper. This will keep the audiences attention and make them think about every single sentence. I think that every sentence has a specific impact and is important to my paper. By making every sentence unique, it makes every sentence stand out more by itself.
1. Obviously this paper is going to be in a convincing or persuading style. Another feature of this genre will be that it is a current event in the sense that it is a topic of debate currently affecting politics in our country. The paper will be structured in a way to inform the reader of the topic, then gradually try to convince them that same-sex marriage should be allowed. Because the paper is very long, it will also utilize transitions, citations, and quotations in order to properly support my opinion of the topic. This will also help make my opinion credible and therefore, something the reader could actually agree with. The most important thing is I want to persuade the reader to believe my side of the argument so any facts, quotations, or other useful things will come in handy.
2. In order to be creative, I want to be able to pull examples from real life of people dealing with this issue. I want to point out how not being able to get married because they are gay will affect them financially and why it's wrong to prevent them from getting married. I think statistics are huge in supporting an argument and statistics on how much financial gain there is by being married would be a nice way to convince the reader that preventing gay marriage is wrong and goes against our constitutional right as Americans to have equal rights for everyone. When people get married, there are tax benefits, shared medical insurance, social security benefits, the right to inheritance in case of death, sick leave from work, military leave, and other benefits that gay couples are not able to receive. I don't find that to be fair so I want to convince the readers that it is wrong to single out the gay community with this law.
I'm so stress right now. I have a math and a chem exam tommorw. I still don't understand some of the material. Anyone else feeling stressed out?
The hardest arguments to refute from the opponents side would be the whole issue of religion being against same-sex marriages. Gods ideal marriage is between one women and one man in the purpose of creating children. Many people in the United States are religious and may oppose the marriages of same-sex marriages. This leads to people not supporting same-sex marriages.
Yes religion is very important, but not everyone is religious. Everyone should be given the same amount of treatment through religion and the law. Since men and women are only suppose the be brought together, what happens when a couple are physically not able to produce children? Are they also not suppose to marry? They are allowed to marry so what not allow people of the same sex marry. Another issue is that very religious people are still getting divorce. Many people are not keeping marriage true and committed. Another issue is the law. The government is said to keep church and state separate, so why does it keep coming up from political leaders that, God intended marriage to be between and man and a woman.
Many people get married not only for the purpose of religion. Many people of different religions unite in marriage. Both the male and female may not even be religious, marriage doesn’t always mean that it has to be religious. What is the point of getting married at a church if the couple doesn’t even go to the church. Several couples show up a couple times out of the year, just so they can be members at the church. Marriage is shown as it is out of love not just religion and marriage is different for everyone.
There are a couple arguments from the opposing side of the controversy of therapeutic cloning that are hard to refute. These include the idea of destroying an embryo as immoral, there is no clear line between reproductive and therapeutic cloning, and there are better alternatives to use.
I will refute the argument of destroying an embryo is immoral by offering an opposite argument. The embryo is not allowed to live past the fourteen day stage, women with pro-choice can freely have an abortion after that point (liberty), and embryos are taken from in-vitro fertilization clinics where they would have been thrown in the trash can otherwise. I will use the value of liberty while adding in opposite arguments as to why destroying the embryo should not be considered destruction in the first place.
The second argument is harder to refute. Seperating reproductive and therapeutic cloning is hard for anyone to do. They are two completely different processes yet if you add just one step to therapeutic cloning it becomes reproductive cloning. I will refute by offering an opposite argument to the premise saying there are laws against reproductive cloning now just how there will always be and if scientists really would like to participate in reproductive cloning and laws wont stop them, nothing will stop them now or ever. I will also bring up the fact that therapeutic cloning research is legal in some other countries so if scientists once again wanted to practice reproductive cloning along with therapeutic at this point and time they could just go to another country. The problem I run into is refuting the fact that many scientists are wishy washy on this issue. Some scientists who support therapeutic cloning and support the ban on reproductive cloning still believe there could be benefits to reproductive cloning. Some scientists get my side into trouble by supporting the right idea while voicing ideas of hope on the part of reproductive cloning, the most controversial area of cloning.
I agree with the argument made that there are better alternatives to embryonic stem cell research. I will support both sides of my contreversy by saying adult stem cell research could have the same benefits as embryonic stem cell research and could someday eliminate the controversy of using embryos for research. The deal is, to use alternatives to embryonic stem cells scientists need to know exactly how embryonic cells work to be able to program the adult cells and make them adopt the positive qualities of the embryonic cells. Whether you support adult stem cell research or embryonic, the embryonic research needs to happen before scientific work goes further on adult stem cell research.
Arguments Hardest to Refute
The arguments of my opponents’ that will be hardest to refute would be when they argue that downloading files is illegal, how much money record companies are losing, and how individuals who download are slowly ruining the music for the future. These arguments are the hardest to convince because you have to convince people that although it is breaking the law it is for a better cause. Then the opposition has all of the self-pity stories of how workers have been fired because of individuals who download files illegally. Once again the stories are true, but you have to argue that it was only a matter of time before something like this happened, and in all reality their can be a positive even for the workers who got fired.
When the opposition argues that downloading files is illegal they are speaking the truth. To counter the opposition’s argument I will argue an opposite argument as to why although downloading files is illegal it had to happen. The main argument I will produce is that the music industry as a whole is changing to the faster and larger digital world. And also the digital world comes in forms that are extremely cheaper, or in the illegal sense at no cost. I know people won’t be able to always download for free and I won’t be a supporter for keeping the downloads free. What I want people to see is that this process that the music industry is going through is for a better reason. That there is a change going on from hardware materials used for music to software materials. It is similar to the process of cassette tapes to cds, but far more changing in its effects.
In all reality, the change of music going digital is all for the better, and that is what I have to argue against the opposition. I have no doubt in my mind that this change will be positive and that determination will help me refute the opponent’s hardest arguments.
My paper is about the censorship of modern art. I support not censoring art. The argument of my opponents that is the hardest to refute is that bad art should be censored. It is tough because no one wants to look at bad art but the other problem is that bad art is a matter of opinion. Everyone has a different idea of what art is bad. I have one source that argues for censoring art very well. I will use multiple ways of discrediting this argument. For one of the arguments I will use value questioning to discredit this argument. One does not have the right to judge what is good or bad for someone else. And we have the first amendment to protect us. I will also discredit the argument by disproving the premises. What is bad art does not hold true in all cases.
The other argument for censorship of art is not all art is appropriate for all viewers. This one is hard to refute because not all is appropriate for everyone. I will refute this by asking who defines what is appropriate? That would be a moral issue. I could also disapprove premises because it doesn’t stand in all circumstances. The only thing an organization can do it state that the art may not be appropriate for all ages.
Sarah Litherland
Fat tax arguments: hard to refute
The hardest arguments that are to refute, is the argument that soda, candy and junk food are unhealthy, and over consumed. If the government stepped in and taxed these foods, they would be consumed less. The taxes on these foods would be used for good, or so the government claims. I will refute the arguments by saying that it is the citizen’s choice not the government’s choice to tax the foods that we choose to eat. The concept of fat tax in reality is a statement of our freedom. I plan to make proposals for the opponent. One proposal is the idea that say there is a small tax, it be on soda alone, and that the tax dollars are guaranteed to go to the health departments. Then, maybe fat tax would be a good idea, but for now it is a moral situation. Morally, as citizens of the United States, we have the choice to choose to consume junk food or not to.
The other argument is the fact that American citizens are unhealthy due to the fact that the food that they consume the food that they can afford. Unhealthy foods are less more affordable. Thus, unhealthy foods are consumed more. The proposal or refute that I plan to make for this situation, is that the companies that produce junk foods, be given a tax break for packaging and selling more “healthy” foods.
The big refute that I feel is valid for the fat taxes, is that as citizens we do not know where the tax is going. It is our money, and we have the right to do with it what we choose.
The argument made by my opponent that is hardest to refute is the argument about how therapeutic cloning can benefit our society. Therapeutic cloning is cloning to heal people instead of to create more people. The argument says that organs could be cloned that would not be rejected by the person receiving them and there would be a much shorter waiting list, since the organs needed could be cloned. Therapeutic cloning could also cure diseases like diabetes and parkinsons disease. This argument is hard to refute because of all the benefits therapeutic cloning seems to have. It seems to be all benefits with no negative effects at all. It is the perfect way to solve many of the worlds problems. This is why it is so hard to refute, because it is perfect. Or is it? The world may never know. But, if you think about the argument more you can start seeing it is not perfect but in fact flawed in many ways, and can be refuted.
First I plan to refute the argument through questioning values. Therapeutic cloning involves the killing of fertilized human embryos, and that is wrong. I will also challenge the premise of therapeutic cloning being able to cure diseases. Recently, scientists have reported that parkinsons disease can probably not be cured through therapeutic cloning. Since therapeutic cloning cannot cure the diseases it promised to cure, it should be banished from the land. And also we don’t have the technology to use therapeutic cloning, so it would involve time and money to research this, and anything you have to do extensive research on isn’t worth researching at all.
I am having a hard time refuting the argument that states vaccinations not needed in the twenty first century. Numerous facts and data demonstrate the adverse health effects of vaccines. Vaccines are historically proven effective, yet in recent decades more controversial arguments have aroused. The elimination of some diseases supports the use of vaccines yet. I am having a hard time finding recent data that includes vaccines being a mandatory procedure. A lot of the information supporting the use of mandatory vaccinations may be said to be “outdated.” I accept the fact that a lot of the supporting evidence records from past decades yet; the past provides proven supporting information. I plan on acknowledging the adverse health effects that may result from the use of vaccines. I also plan to compare the chance of adverse health effects versus becoming infected with a deadly disease. My strongest arguments will rely on statistical data, stating the low probability of adverse health effects. I will state the safety benefits and reinforce the popular practice of immunizations. I will make a point to state that it is not rational to compare the low statistical data of reported adverse health effects versus the benefits of immunizations. Hopefully, I will be able to explain some type of reasoning why certain individuals react negatively to vaccines. Being aware of allergic reactions or other health conditions may help prevent adverse health effects. I also will provide information supporting certain individuals that are at high risk or adverse health effects to refrain from using certain vaccines. Much statistical data contains information stating many vaccines are totally unnecessary.
The hardest argument to refute that my opponents make, is that the operation is beneficial to single animals that are always indoors, as well as pets that are allowed to roam freely. Many of them are unaware of the medical benefits that result from having their pet spayed or neutered, so you have to inform them of the risks, and then make them realize that their pets life could be lengthened and improved from having the operation.
Another argument made by opponents that is somewhat difficult to refute is that the operation is ‘too expensive’. This is hard to argue against because every individual has a different income and thus different idea of what ‘expensive’ denotes. The best way I have come up with to argue that the operation will still be beneficial despite its cost, is that no matter how much money you make, the cost of a spay or neuter operation will still be less than the treatment of ailments eliminated by the operation will cost. From that one may conclude that in the long run, he or she will be saving money.
One more argument my opponents like to make is one based on luxury. Many owners feel that it is a waste to spay or neuter their ‘pure-bread’ cat or dog. They think that they may even be able to make money off their pet’s offspring. Data shows that this is an assumption that should be looked at differently. Nearly half of animals euthenized in animal shelters are indeed pure-bread. Therefore pure-bread animals are just as major part of the problem of overpopulation as mixed breed animals are. Other statistics show that people often do not make much money off their pure-bread pups or kittens. Usually only breeders that already have a reputation and business set up benefit from selling pups and kittens.
I find that there are not many arguments that are hard to refute. Most arguments consist of using animals for safety of substances that have already been proven. There is no need to continue testing cosmetics on animals because most cosmetic products are already in use and haven’t done any harm. I plan to refute this argument by stating that animal testing in no longer needed for cosmetics in today’s times. I can prove this by stating if cosmetics were dangerous, why would so many people use them. I can disprove or find a fault in their logic because they have no reason for testing to continue to exist.
Another argument would be that animal testing is not needed in the medical world. Testing is needed for medicine to further today’s research and discover cures to new diseases. Although, as the world advances, we probably won’t need animal testing anymore, the rate at which we are at now, we definitely need it. One can refute this argument by showing all of the benefits that animal testing has provided for the medicinal world. One can state all of the previous inventions due to animal research and find how beneficial it proves to be. By knowing this, I can equally refute the statements given by people who don’t support animal research for medicine.
- The hardest argument that I have trying to refute is mainly ethical concerns when talking about same-sex marriage. I believe it should be legal for homosexual couples to marry and the opponents of my opinion say that it is unethical and they are trying to protect the sanctity of marriage.
- The reason I'm having trouble with this topic is mainly due to the fact that I need to somehow convince the audience that marriage today has lost much of its values and ethics already. By doing this, I can explain how allowing same-sex marriages would not change society ethically. The sanctity of marriage would still exist. Many male/female couples don't follow the values and ethics of marriage anyway. I don't have a lot of trouble arguing against "the sanctity of marriage" argument but it is the most common argument against same-sex marriage.
- What I want to do to refute their argument is to focus on marriage as a whole in the current generation. By showing how the sanctity of marriage is gone already in most cases, it will show that homosexual couples would do nothing to hurt marriage in this country. I will use examples such as dating reality television shows, high divorce rate, married couples that are not religious, and the high rate of infedelity among couples. One argument I may pose would be to talk about how a climbing divorce rate only shows how the sanctity of marriage is losing its value already. Marriage is supposed to be a life-long commitment to each other but society as a whole has a hard time following that religious rule. Even highly religious couples get divorced. My grandparents are a perfect example of a highly religious couple that got divorced. Both of them are highly into their faith but their marriage was not worth sticking it out until the day they die.
For my paper I argue for genetic engineering. It is hard to argue against GMOs when it comes to labeling and effecting surrounding organisms. When it comes to labeling I agree that a consumer has the right to know what is in the food they are purchasing and consuming, but it becomes hard when you think how someone is suppose to go about labeling GMOs. What is considered as a GMO and how is someone supposed to know the different genes within the product. It is hard to know were a peanut gene into another organism is going to act like a peanut and have an allergic reaction like one. Plus is would cost more money to package the GMOs since they have to take time and figuring what is the GMO product and whether there are allergic reactions. To discredit this argument I would use values, economy and capitalism over safety and responsibility.
Not only labeling but also surrounding organisms may be harmed by GMOs is in question. The genes of the GMO may be transferred to another organism, making that organism the GMO traits, which would not be good. Although this is a good theory there is no proof that this could happen. This one of the arguments made by the environmentalist, but it can be justified. To tire this argument down I would use credibility and not enough data.
There are many side arguments on the other side of my issue that may be hard to refute. The topic of my paper is file-sharing, and downloading music is illegal. I think that the fact that downloading music is illegal and that it violates copyrighted material will be hard to argue against. Another argument that goes along with this, is the idea that musicians work long and hard for their music and it is artistic talent that is being taken away.
It is hard to argue against the idea that downloading music wrong because a person downloads something that is copyrighted, because many people believe that if something is copyrighted, people shouldn’t be able to copyright it. Many people would think that if we allow copyrighted music to be downloaded for free, then what other copyrighted material may be next? It is also hard to argue against the idea of musicians deserving credit for their artistic work that they have put into their music. This is hard to argue against because it is a general value that people have that people should be paid for the work that they do. When people put lots of time into making an album, they should be compensated for that work, rather than have people receive all of their music for free.
I think that I plan on refuting both of these arguments in the same way. Discrediting the premises would probably be most effective. I could argue that in the music industry, almost all music is borrowed. Many songs have been re-written, multiple “different” songs contain the same beats and musical themes in the background, and musicians are always borrowing music from each other. Making this claim would discredit the premise that it would violate copyright laws, because in the music industry, is anything really truly original enough to merit a copyright if it is all borrowed from one another? This would also work with the idea that people work long and hard and deserve credit for their work, because if they are borrowing form other people, then they aren’t really working that hard.
Since beginning my paper of Chronic Wasting Disease, I have not only learned a great deal about my side of the controversy but about the other side as well. Those who believe CWD is a dangerous threat and support drastic action to curb the problem do make some points that I find hard to refute. First and foremost, CWD is a relatively new disease, which has only been in recognized in the last 30 years. As a result we do not have a great deal of evidence supporting either side. However when I try to argue that the meat from cervids in safe to consume I do not have long term scientific studies. So far CWD has not passed from animal to humans. Yet the other side can use the fact that more testing needs to be done and that we cannot assume safety standards. This argument is popular among the general public. I can argue all day that we have not had any transmission to humans, but the fact of the matter is that we do not have hard, irrefutable evidence for either side. Those on the opposing side say that it is better to be safe and wait until long term testing is completed.
It seems that the argument I have taken on is logical and would probably win support for the opposing side; I have found a way to counter this. While I may accept the fact that there is some inherent risk in consuming meat from cervids that carry CWD, I would also like to point out the risks we take every day. Each and every day thousands of people flock to grocery stores to pick up beef, pork, and chicken out of meat cases. Each time this is done the person is taking a risk. There have been hundreds of meat recalls because of contamination, and these contaminations have led to deaths. Cervids on the other hand have not killed anyone and to this day all evidence has pointed to CWD not passing to humans. In my argument I am essentially trying to bring CWD back into perspective.
My paper addresses the controversy of the smoking ban being implemented in Minneapolis and St. Paul bars and restaurants. My paper is intended to support and promote the ban further promoting a better public health. However, opposing arguments have much support around the twin cities. It is really hard to actually know if the business economy of Minneapolis a St. Paul will be effected by this new ban. Business owners around the Twin cities are preparing for a drastic decline in business and circulation. One way that I am going to attempt to refute this argument is in the hope that is all business around the cities abide by this now smoking ban, business’ alike will not suffer for all have conformed to non smoking. Another big argument that opponents arise is that smoking is a human right and the government has no right to take away a hobby of millions of Americans. This is the argument that I am the hardest for me to refute. I have found that the only way that I can refute this argument is through which values should humans have in mind. So the argument for public health should be above that of individual rights. It seems that only the individual smoker experiences the pleasure of the actual act of smoking while scientific evidence supports that both the individual as a well as those around experience the harms of this drug. So I am going to argue that the value of public health is more important than that of individual pleasure.
Arguments that are hard to refute for my topic would be the fact that animal testing has produced many favorable results. It has been done for years and has helped to develop the polio vaccine, insulin and many other diseases. It has even made make-ups and cleaners safer for human use.
Testing on animals has been around for years with good results. The scientific world still uses it today despite improved technology. It is hard to say something is bad when it has produced so many good results. How do you argue that animal testing is bad when it may have in some way saved your life or the life of someone you know. Testing has also helped to test artificial hearts lungs and bionic limbs.
Although I plan to argue that although animal testing has produced favorable results it is immoral especially since now days alternatives are available. We have plenty of alternatives that offer the same results faster and cheaper. Not to mention that they save animal lives. Also the results from these tests are more reliable and are more directly related to humans.
This is the new age. The age of technology and we should be using that instead of a life. A life is a life. Companies could expand and be more successful at what they do by embracing this new technology. They would not have to worry about all of the rules and regulations that they have to deal with when having animals as test subjects. In the end it my not take as many workers either and they might be able to save time and essentially lives with this time.
Thought Paper
Katie Sexton
I think that my hardest argument to refute from the opposing side them saying that humans do not need to drink milk. I am trying to write that we do need to drink milk and I have all kinds of facts about the vitamins that are found in milk and what they do for you and your body. However, I am not able to find any research about what would happened if you don’t drink milk. I am not able to find a study that talked about two children one that drank milk and one that didn’t and then had the results of there health. I am also having a hard time extending the argument that you shouldn’t drink milk. It is said that humans are the only mammals to drink milk after 6 months of age but that is not very detailed.
What I plan on doing it writing about how for the past how many years most people have been drinking milk and they have been living longer and longer lives so why do we think now that there needs to be a change. I also plan on talking further about the nutrients found in milk and how they go directly into your body and help you in many different ways and there are not many foods that can do that. I will also discredit there side by saying that I could not find any research saying that you could live a healthier life if you didn’t drink milk.
I am hoping that by doing this I can get my argument across and that by the end of the paper you know more about milk and what it has to offer and why everyone should get there 3-A-Day.
The one argument that my opponents have that is the hardest to refute is the fact that not everyone involved in the circus has committed a crime or mistreated an animal. By not supporting all circuses that have animals, some people argue that we are punishing people who have done no wrong. Many people rely on the circus as their only source of income because it really is a very specialized field. By taking all animals out of the circus, people may be forced to find new jobs and a new way of life. These same people argue that there are laws to shut down specific circuses that do not treat animals well. With these laws, there is no need to make an overall law to ban all animals from the circus.
To refute this argument, I will show that these laws aimed at shutting down only specific circuses that do not comply with certain standards, do not work. They do not scan the circuses sufficiently and there is plenty of evidence that shows that many cases in big circuses are overlooked or difficult to follow up on. Big circuses also have enough money to bribe investigators to be quiet about illegal activities. Wild animals need a lot of care and they are currently not getting what they need to live a happy life. If they are forced to perform than they should also be happy. While fairness to all circuses is important, the animals should be the number one concern. If any animals at all are being abused or mistreated, than animals should be taken out of the circus until an efficient method of watching over them is created. It is critical that while animals are still being mistreated we must boycott all circuses that have animal acts in them. People in the circus may lose their job, even though they were not abusing animals, but until the circus learns how to take care of wild animals, which may be never, they should not be allowed to contain wild animals. I do not think that there is any way that huge, wild animals such as elephants and tigers can live happily in a circus. They need room to roam. This type of refuting will be an example of the value question. We must value the animals' lives more than jobs.
Most of my arguments from the other side are made concerning the legal fees and how costly regulating the pollution in our environment. They don’t really have a lot of facts of just how much money is spent because every situation is different, every state and such. They make a point that companies that are regulated cannot produce as much product and therefore are not efficient because of the standards. Regulation of pollution has an effect on the economy, which is hard to tear down.
You cannot tear down the economy and the effect on it, because there are no facts or statements saying that it doesn’t hurt the economy by the amount of money spent. How can you prove something without credible and reliable sources stating what money is spent and how?
I plan to find credible sources and lots of facts and information that tears down the other side, however, this side requires a lot more digging in depth to find such a thing. There are tons of information that states why pollution is bad for the environment and why we should regulate it but very little to what’s bad about regulating pollution. So I plan to dig deep to find information that counter acts the very established argument to why regulation of pollution is good.
I don’t mind the assignments that we have had. They are not to horrible, it is just that I don’t always understand what is to be done. The papers are long and a lot of work. In high school I never had to write this this long of a paper nor one of this kind of format. So it is just a little hard for me to understand what I am suppose to do. I do like however that at the end I will have one big paper. I hope that I can have it corrected so that it is almost perfect, that would just make my time that I put into it worth it. When writing my papers I try not to use the “to be” form but I always forget what words are considered to be. Other then that I like how you are flexible willing to extend our papers or other assignments if we need to.
One reason I like the assignments right now is the fact we are sticking with our original topics. Although it is the biggest pain for me to revise over and over again this paper, in the end, is going to be one that was worked on for a whole symmester. That is awesome and later on this paper could be referred to, especially if it is in a student’s area of study. The hardest part for me is keeping the amount of pages right. It seems every time I revise my paper I eliminate more and make everything less wordy, but then I have to add more information to keep the page number up. It’s also hard to sort through a ton of sources. There has been a ton of information for my topic especially recent information and it is hard to not get overwhelmed. All in all this paper is a struggle but every time we add something new and peer review everything seems to look a lot better.
The only real problem I find that is the most important would be how relatively new my topic is compared to some of the other topics that students are writing on. Since the topic is a newer one there is not as many things to research on it. I am not saying that some students don’t share the same issue as well. Certain controversies have been around for some time now and numerous studies and facts have been made available. I just wanted to do a paper on something that might hold some degree of interest for some students. And with new information coming out every day it is hard to know just what could happen next. Putting two papers together is a challenge as well. Its good to have two big blocks of information to use, but you are writing a new paper like a jigsaw puzzle making pieces of information fit together. It’s a process of making sure things sound well when put together.
I am really not sick of this assignment. The only thing that I wish that I did differently, is choose a topic that I was interested in. I ended up changing my topic, and it hurt me in the long run. With all of the research that we have done, I have learned a lot about the topic, and since it interests me, it has been good. I am not struggling to meet the page requirements, but I have been struggling to organize my thoughts in a way that makes sense to the reader. I tend to write what is in my head, and I think that it makes sense to other people, but it doesn't. I hope that after reading responses to my paper, that I will be able to organize my thoughts for better understanding.
The only complaint that I have is the first paper. I felt confused with the assignment, and ended up doing it all wrong. The paper was horrible. I think that I would have gone about it completely differently had I known that it was more of a research paper vs. an argumentative paper.
The assignment is good, because I have never had the chance to write a 16 page paper. The paper will be a big accomplishment.
I have never researched a topic in so much depth. I feel like I have done so much reading on my topic. I’m finding it really hard to find unbiased sources. I’m also having a hard time formatting my bibliography page. I’m finding the iterative writing process very helpful. At times it is very difficult to collaborate all my data, yet I feel like I am doing a thorough writing job. I like that I am able to receive grades feedback throughout the writing of the paper and I enjoy that I am able to change my mistakes. Knowing what I am doing wrong helps me in my writing process. I am constantly using forms of “to be.” I proof my papers with the intention of eliminating all of the forms, and I still miss a lot of them. I’m having a really hard time rephrasing my thoughts without using these forms. All in all, so far everything is going pretty smooth. Hopefully, with the base of my paper started, the rest of my writing should be a little bit easier!
I really believe I am learning alot compared to what I started with. I am not a fan of the weekly writing assignments but I will write about that a little later. I learned how not to use the verb to be, and I realize that it does sound a lot better when you don't use it. I really like how we correct our first drafts in class, it helps me out alot to hear what others have to say. The thing that helps out the class is Ms. Tschider. She is always smiling and it makes my day go alot better. You know that guy the dropped this class? A couple girls and I were talking how she did not deserve how he was treating her and we felt really bad. Something out of nowhere is I am always wondering what she is going to be wearing because she always is wearing cutes outfits, but back to the writing. I am struggling with the weekly writing assignments. I really don't understand why but I take forever on them and my quality is not even good. I am also struggling with actually sitting down and researching. I think I might have a disability. My attention span is very short.
The assignments so far have been okay. These weekly thought papers aren’t very hard and we get writing practice. The papers have been a little harder. They take a while to write and you have to keep revising them. The informative papers weren’t too bad, but now we have to have academic sources in our convincing paper, and academic sources are much harder to find. The library’s web site is helping but it is still hard to find six academic sources. Also, I’ve had to work on this paper the same week I’ve had a couple of midterms. I haven’t had much free time at all this week because my time has been divided into writing my paper and studying for my midterms. It has been tough but I’m almost done, and then I can sleep for a few days.
Thought Paper
The assignments are going good. I needed an extension for the second paper, since it took so long to get the corrects back to us. I haven’t gotten sick of my topic yet, which is a good thing. There is so much to learn about genetic engineering. Now that I’m working on the controversies, I have a lot of information. It’s been easy to meet the page requirements.
I'm haeing some troubles. I’m still can not find words in form of “to be.” I haven’t changed any of those yet, but I will. I don’t understand what words are included in the “to be” form. I think a list of them would be helpful.
I don’t really like how we have to do one big paper. I think that we should have to do more individual papers. It would be more interesting for me to have a new topic and it would be easier for me as well. The papers are going ok but its getting harder and harder to find new sources. I also still struggle with the form of “to be”. That is somewhat fustarting when I know it is there but im not sure how to fix it. I think the assignments could also have a little more structure to the directions. I am somewhat confused on some of the expectations or even what the paper should be like. Examples would be nice. I also think there should be more time between each paper to allow for adequate time to get more information and make corrections to the old ones. It is hard to write a new paper when directions are unclear and then go back and edit the last two in the same amount of time that we had to write the first one. Not to mention the difficulty of finding more sources that go with the topic as well as the sources being speicifc types. I think that we should have a few short papers that cover different topics and cover a few different writing styles then having one big paper.
I like the progression of the writing process. It is a way of doing things that I never really thought of before. Breaking the paper down into different parts then puting them back together is a different strategy. The problem that comes up with this is that each paper you want to make the key points in. When it comes down to puting the papers together for each final draft, you have to cut out the redundancy as much as possible. What ends up happening is you repeat a lot of facts in the paper so in order to correct this, you must add more information than just the 4 pages each time. I had a hard time coming up with another 4 full pages on the second paper because many of the points were either repeated or related to each other, resulting in the reduction of description sentences to connect each side of the history of the topic. I fear that by the final version at the end of the semester will have a lot of redundancy and in order to compensate for that, I'll have to include a sufficating amount of quotations in order to fill space to meet the page requirements. My struggles were mainly to write enough new information that avoided being redundant. Another problem I have is I still can not seem to grasp the idea of what types of words are passive voice. I know "to be" is but I can't remember all the forms of "to be" and it's hard to make a good sentence sometimes without using a form of "to be".
I like how its one big paper but we gradually build up to it, makes me less stressed that its broken up. But it tends to be redundant and feels like it never ends, and it starts to get boring. Sometimes smaller papers are less stressful and more entertaining / interesting to write because it’s a fresh topic. However, I don’t think I’d learn and experience just how much forms of to be are used in my writing and our language as a whole.
My paper is going well, but I’m having a hard time digging deeper into my topic and it seems like most of the information out there is one sided and you don’t really get to hear a lot about the other side to the argument. Most of the sites that I have found with good information and actual what I believe to be “credible” in anyway have already been used in my paper and I just can’t seem to find another good credible source. I think I might spend sometime this weekend digging on the library’s website finding more credible sources there hopefully. I haven’t spent as much time as I should be using this source of information.
I’m struggling to the extreme with “to be” forms. They are a pain in the bum to get rid of for me. I tend to just sit there and stare at my paper, thinking of how to reword the sentence to make the to be forms to go away, saying the sentence over and over and I still cant seem to find a way to get rid of the nasty buggers. As well as finding more credible sources that I haven’t already used.
One reason I like the assignments right now is the fact we are sticking with our original topics. Although it is the biggest pain for me to revise over and over again this paper, in the end, is going to be one that was worked on for a whole symmester. That is awesome and later on this paper could be referred to, especially if it is in a student’s area of study. The hardest part for me is keeping the amount of pages right. It seems every time I revise my paper I eliminate more and make everything less wordy, but then I have to add more information to keep the page number up. It’s also hard to sort through a ton of sources. There has been a ton of information for my topic especially recent information and it is hard to not get overwhelmed. All in all this paper is a struggle but every time we add something new and peer review everything seems to look a lot better.
A strictly independent writing class is really new for me. Usually I am assigned a paper with a topic or question to answer. I really enjoy picking out my own topic and following it up with research. I think I am a lot more motivated to research my topic if I like the subject. I think another aspect that I enjoy is the idea of splitting up the paper into 4 page chunks each composed of different areas of the topic. I think that if we were just assigned a 16 page paper at the beginning of the class I know I would wait until the late minute. This way I know that I have to get certain parts of the paper done at certain times. I think because my topic is a local as well as recent controversy I sometimes struggle in finding information. I think this paper might have been easier to write in a couple of years. On the other hand I have found that I am living in this controversy, and therefore I have a more personal opinion. Like I said I think the one thing that I am struggling with research on my topic, but I think that I just need to look more at the local articles and newspapers written. I think that the library sources of these articles will really help me.
I think the assigments are appropriate for the class. We aren't doing any busy work, like some classes. I kinda wish the paper wasn't cummlative b/c sometimes i just want to write it and be done with it and not deal with it anymore. But then i think that in the end i'm going to have a really good paper, so it will bo ok. The paper is going ok. I am having trouble finding premeis for the paper but i'm working on it. i think i'm going to have some trouble finding academic sources for my paper. I am going to the library tomorrow in hopes of finding them and finishing my paper in the same day. I am struggling with formatting my argument. I have been reading the book and it is helpful but first i need to fingure out what type of agrument it is to have the book be helpful. It is getting easyer to not use passive voice. There are a few sentecnes that i'm sturggling wih but they are just a few. Overall i really don't think the paper is bad.
I think that I general, the assignments are not getting too hard. Although, it seems as thought it is getting tougher to find information and specific evidence or quotes to back up my premises. For example, as my paper gets more and more specific, I need more and more specific statistics or quotes to back up my arguments. However, this evidence can be hard to find because it is so specific. Also, the idea of finding academic articles is hard to incorporate now that we have already written half of our paper. Because we are so far into the paper, it is harder to go back and add information that is from a scholarly source. It would have been easier to have started looking for scholarly sources from the way beginning of writing the paper. It feels like the hardest thing for me right now is finding scholarly sources on my topic mainly because my topic is more of a popular topic. Because my topic is file sharing, it seems like most of the articles that I find are popular, and when they are scholarly, they tend to be against my topic.
I believe that this assignment is really worthwhile, even if it is tough. I think it will help me in the future for writing convincing papers. To be honest my paper has been hard for me to complete. I am writing about Chronic Wasting Disease and although it is interesting to me it is a hard topic to make others care about. Most people have not heard of the disease or if they have do not care about it. It is a social perception issue, something that is totally based on how people have been raised or their views. I have been having some trouble finding actual facts for my arguments. Information has been my biggest problem. Many of the sources provide the same information about the history of the disease. Since it is a relatively new disease most of the studies that would normally provide statistics to back up my points are not released. Researchers are still working on their studies and most are unwilling to state their opinions since the long term affects of CWD have not been determined. I think if I can find information that writing the actual paper will not be difficult.
Right now I’m really overwhelmed with how many pages we have to turn in on Sunday. It would be ok if this was my only class, but it takes a lot of time management to work everything out. I’m glad that we did the paper in stages though. Right now, my room is just exploding with papers about my topic. My desk is overflowing and I’m sure there are random printouts that fell under my desk. I am really excited to work out the final details of my paper. I have put so much work into it. Just finding enough scholarly articles was really a challenge. I had to really think outside the box to find articles written in scholarly journals about the circus. Not many well known scientists want to write about the circus. I’ll be really happy when I can look at the finished product of my paper, but for now it seems like a huge mess that I’m just going to have to bulldoze my way through.
Right now I’m really overwhelmed with how many pages we have to turn in on Sunday. It would be ok if this was my only class, but it takes a lot of time management to work everything out. I’m glad that we did the paper in stages though. Right now, my room is just exploding with papers about my topic. My desk is overflowing and I’m sure there are random printouts that fell under my desk. I am really excited to work out the final details of my paper. I have put so much work into it. Just finding enough scholarly articles was really a challenge. I had to really think outside the box to find articles written in scholarly journals about the circus. Not many well known scientists want to write about the circus. I’ll be really happy when I can look at the finished product of my paper, but for now it seems like a huge mess that I’m just going to have to bulldoze my way through.
1. “There have been at least five species of humans, all of them evolving in Africa and four of them migrating out in successive waves to Europe and Africa. The human evolutionary tree is a bush rooted in Africa.”
2. “Our species evolved in Africa recently, and spread from there to the rest of the world, eventually replacing earlier human species in Europe and Asia.”
3. “Neanderthals were a separate dead-end species of human rather than our direct ancestors.”
The writer supports the first argument by giving the history of the human race, as seen by many anthropologists. The writer supports the second argument by giving the history of the human race from a different view, and then describes a study and the results of the study done to discover which version of the history is correct. The third argument is supported by the writer explaining that neanderthals DNA and homo sapiens DNA are different.
For one example of pathos, the writer could have explained how we evolved, and how we are connected to the species coming out of Africa. Another example could be a story about a scientist discovering the connection between all the different species and their origins in Africa
This article had many interesting points and several good arguments for his paper. In his paper the author brought forth many ideas that had been fiercely debated by scientists. In his first section the author discussed the theory that our evolutionary path was a “bush” instead of the generally accepted ‘tree” theory. To support this argument he discussed the fact that there were five separate species that developed in Africa. He supported his bush theory by illustrating the fact that these species developed at different times and then migrated, essentially creating evolutionary waves of prehistoric man. Each wave then replaced the succeeding wave. I believe that the author very successfully stated and supported his argument while also refuting the points made by others in the past.
The second argument the author made was relating to the evolution of the species. Some scientists believe that our species developed in three
different continents, Europe, Asia, and Africa; rather than all forming in Africa and spreading outward. To support the point that all species came from Africa he used the findings of a scientific study. The DNA of 42 populations were studied for genetic variations, Populations with the most variations were the oldest since they had the most time for development and variation. In the study 21 of the 24 variations that were found were found in Africa, thus the African populations are the oldest. From this he concluded that the majority of evolutionary advances occurred in Africa.
The final argument that was brought forth was whether or not the modern human was in fact a descendant of the prehistoric Neanderthal. The author sited a study that found huge genetic variations between modern humans and Neanderthals. This variation supported the belief that the two species were actually not directly related; instead Neanderthals were a dead end species.
The author could have used pathos in his article in several places. For example in his introduction, instead of jumping into the debate among scientists he could have appealed to emotions by telling a story. In addition, when the author was discussing the link between modern Homo sapiens and Neanderthals, he could have given it a more human face rather than just the facts. An example of using pathos for the link between Homo sapiens and Neanderthals could be something like the following. Scientists do not believe that the two species united and thus Neanderthals became part of our genetic line. It seems unlikely that a Neanderthal man would wander far from his cave into the harsh elements in search of a companion. Instead this man would have found prehistoric happiness with the Neanderthal woman living in a cave just down the hill.
In the text Human Evolution: The scientist studying human origins are engaged in lively debate, there are many ways to think about the human evolution. Two scientists sent their views to all of their colleagues about the Neanderthal evolution. Many disagreements arose because of these controversial issues. One issue is that the evolutionary tree becomes a bush, and that bush’s roots come out of Africa. The next controversial issue is that the human specie evolved in Africa recently and spread from there to the rest of the world, eventually replacing earlier human species to Europe and Asia. The final controversial issues indicates that “Neanderthals were a separate specie of humans rather that a direct ancestor.”
The writer supports his arguments by researching the history of human evolution. He also supports his arguments by the theory of early migration out of Africa to Europe and Asia. This theory was the Regional Continuitly Theory. Another support for his argument is the DNA analysis of the bones.
The writer used pathos by trying to make all of us believe that all our ancestors came from Africa and I don’t think he did a very good job on persuading me. He could have mentioned something about not being able to find other evidence in any other country to support his a little more. He also could have mentioned about where we for surely came from and why it is true.
In human evolution, two million years was too short of a time to distinguish gene differences in humans and chimps. This leads to our specie being in Africa for a lot longer because of the genetic mutations. Because of the wide variety of genetics, the background is unclear where we all come from.
1. -There appears to now be 5 distinct species of humans instead of 3.
- Each species of human tends to originate in Africa then spreads out into Asia and Europe later on in fossil records.
- The last migration of Homo sapiens occured recently about 30000 years ago.
- The human evolutionary family tree is actually a bush.
- More genetic variations were found in current African humans and so it is believed that humans have been in Africa longer and therefore migrated out of Africa later on.
- Reports that Homo sapiens interbreeded with Neanderthals has no solid evidence.
- Neanderthals appear to be a dead-end species of humans.
2. This article appears to be supported as if the writer is actually a scientist. He talks of how he taught human evolution 25 years ago to students so we already know he has to be credible. He doesn't appear to use any sources or citation in the article other than what critics have written in emails. He uses his own knowledge of the subject as the only source and explains it in a way that makes sense to the reader.
3. First, I think that a visual family "bush" would have been a great way to support his arguement. Visuals always are a huge help with readers. I think the main reason it would have been good is to give the reader a better understanding of what the "bush" would be rather than the normal evolutionary "tree". Secondly, I wish the author would have used some of their own personal research or findings in his arguments. I think that his opinion is not clearly supported with person experiences or knowledge to the extent that would make this a more convincing article.
4. Through my own research, I have been able to determine that Neanderthals did not interbreed with Homo sapiens due to there genetic differences. Their DNA has too many variations in it that would not allow for them to interbreed, and as other people had argued, created a hybrid of the two species. This hybrid is not a valid finding and is not clearly supported by the scientists who made the argument. To me, there is clearly two different species when comparing Neanderthals to sapiens. Neanderthals were replaced by sapiens, not slowly changed through interbreeding.
In the article “Human Evolution: The scientists study human origins are engaged in lively debate,” has many argument outlined. The arguments are:
Is the human evolutionary tree a bush? Controversy of the history of different species that today’s humans came from
Did our species only evolve in Africa?
Are Neanderthals our cousins, or a separate species?
The author supports these arguments by using the information he has gained by teaching human evolution at the Washington University. He doesn’t have any apparent sources that he has used. He has no sources sited, he uses history and static to make his points but don’t mention where has received it.
The author could have used pathos to grab his audience’s attention or to illustrate his point of view.
An example of a paragraph that would use the pathos for this article would be:
Your ancestors underwent many hardships. They traveled all around continents with a goal of survival. Some species didn’t survive while other thrived. Through millions of years only the strong survive making us who we are today.
There are many arguments that the author makes throughout their writing. The topic that is first discussed is about how many different types of humans there have been in history, and the author says that many paleontoloists agree that there were 5. Next, he discusses the controversy on where human evolution began. The author believes that the study of genes that evolve quickly is the solution to determine whether human evolution began in Africa. The last argument discussed was about whether Neanderthals were direct ancestors of humans or whether they were hybridized with humans. The author says that Neanderthals were not the direct ancestors of humans.
Throughout the article, the author mainly uses history to support his arguments, however, there are not any sources cited. Also, the author mentions statistics and studies that have been done with genes and DNA. Lastly, the author uses studies that have been done with old bones that bones and the comparison to bones of humans of today.
The author did not use any pathos in his writing. If the author wanted to use pathos, there are 2 different ways he could have used them if he wanted to catch his audience in a different way. Some examples are that he could have used a story about when the Neanderthals and the homo sapiens hybridized or when a story about how the homo sapien first saw came to life.
Their eyes met for the first time. Both the Neanderthal Ned and the homo sapien Sue fell in love at first sight. They grunted at each other in satisfaction as they told stories of their past. Next the mating ritual began. Thus was the hybridization of the homo sapien.
Some of the arguments presented in questioning are
- There are 5 stages of human evolution
- Was homo sapiens migration out of Africa and then spread throughout Europe and Asia
- There is no significant evidence to support a connection between the Neanderthals and human. Further can be found in DNA evidence
The writer supports his arguments by providing a popular opinion with evolutionary support to back. Arguments. He provides evidence of resent research as well as conclusions arose from new information. He provides studies of new bone and DNA research as well as the complexity in the stages of evolution. He really gives a sense of uncertainty throughout the article, always questioning the possibility of the unknown. The writer could of used pathos, and emotional interjection to claims of the presented arguments. Pathos could be by supporting the arguments or attracting the audience. An example of this could be Homo habilis were the first species to ever step foot on the rich soil of the earth. They roared on the grounding claiming it as their own and officially beginning the process of evolution.
The article “Human Evolution”, was full of scientific theories, information, and arguments. It starts off showing the two sides scientists believed about evolution. The first argument was “the human evolutionary tree is a bush, rooted in Africa.”. Some paleontologists believed only five distinct species evolved into the homo sapiens we are today and that four of them came from Africa. The author followed the argument with dates, origins, and specific names of the different species.
The second argument basically entails all species of homo sapiens could not have derived just from Africa. This specific theory was called the Regional Continuity Theory. It told the reader how the stream of different populations over the world became homo sapien.
After presenting the two arguments the author goes right into transition saying we can find the truth to this controversy by looking at genetic variations from each group of humans. He goes through the scientific study to prove that the oldest population of humans show genetic defects so African populations were around a lot longer than Asian or American.
I could not find many examples of pathos in this article. The author seemed much more scientific than emotionally connected to the reader. If I could add some pathos into this article I would incorporate the reader by mentioning family lineages. I would get the discussion of knowing our own ancestries and how far back people can go. Maybe the author could find research on the largest family tree known. I think bringing a family tree into the article could make the reader get emotionally connected because where they personally come from is being addressed.
The arguments for this article are how did humans evolve and what theory is right. There are many different views on how the human race evolved and if we evolved only in Africa and what scientist is right.
The writer supports his arguments by giving information and facts that have been found by scientists all over the world. Also, the scientists have been doing research for many years on this subject and are very informed but they do not agree on who is right. Both sides have made arguments and have facts to support their arguments but neither one sorts its self as the right one.
This article is a very scientific article and uses many scientific words that to a regular person may not understand. One way to help them understand may be to put a story about why they feel it is so important that we find out where humans evolve from so that the regular person feels some connection. Also, then the reader will want to read on because they will feel personally connected. Another thing the writer could add to this article is a little story about how this research has changed their life. This way we may be able to connect our life to the research and feel some emotion from the article.
It wasn’t until I started researching the evolution of humans that I realized how important life really was. As I was researching I found many bodies and in many parts of the world and how they looked as I discovered them. As I discovered them I realized that someday I too may be dug up to be looked at to see different aspects of human life. It also made me realize that I will not live forever and that I should be happy for my time that I have on earth.
Is human evolution tree a bush?
Did our species evolve only in Africa?
Are Neanderthals our cousins, or a separate species?
The writer supports his arguments by introducing the topic, supporting it with a fact and then explaining what he meant by including the fact and what it means in simpler detail. He/she uses facts, information, events, history that pertain to the topic, and agree to his argument to support his case. He/she interprets the data they stated to make it worthwhile in their paper.
Two examples of how the author could add pathos into his/her writing are: tell a story about how mutations have evolved humans over time; what’s bad or good about evolution? He could have explained how many people do not understand where they have come from and the evolution our species has gone threw. He also could have pertained to more of how evolution affects humans not just physically but emotionally. How do gene mutations affect us?
Humans have evolved in the past 2 million years, a time frame which is too short to introduce gene mutations/gene differences to our species. But do we really know how this affects our species? Just look at the wide variety of chimpanzees, who have been around for some time now, can you tell the gene differences? They have more of a variety within their species due to gene differences.
The major arguments in this piece are: there have been at least five species of humans not just three, humans evolved in Africa and spread to the rest of the world from there, and Neanderthals are a separate dead-end species not our direct ancestors. The author in this piece uses a lot of scientific evidence to support his claims. While there is no direct scientific evidence to link directly to his conclusions, he uses the evidence to support his ideas. His interpretations of the data, lead to the belief of the three main arguments above.
I think this author could use pathos to create a certain appeal to his beliefs. Right now, after I just read the piece, I really did not care one way or another. I did not have any emotion towards one answer. The author should make the reader want to believe that we evolved from ancestors in Africa. He should give us a reason to want to be connected to African relatives, while at the same time not connected to Neanderthals. Accomplishing these two goals would support two of his arguments very well.
An example of doing this would be to give the positive beliefs of being closely related to Africans. He could tell a story of how much stronger Africans were and still are and that is why they were able to overcome the earlier human species in Europe and Asia. Maybe there could be one powerful leader who led his strong people to Europe and Asia and created the mighty, powerful race that we are today. This would really make me want to believe that I am a close ancestor to people from Africa. Who wouldn’t want to be part of a big, strong powerful race, as opposed to the weak race that was probably wiped out in early Europe and Asia. In contrast, the Neanderthals would potentially be described also as weak and unworthy of being out ancestors. Describing people like this would make me proud to be a descendant of the Africans. I would be almost emotionally attached to them.
Is human evolution a tree or a bush?
Did our species evolve only in Africa?
Are Neanderthals our cousins or a separate species.
The writer supports his arguments by using facts, info, and specific events relating to the argument that he is trying to get across. He also briefly tells you about the history of what he is trying to explain and then he integrates the information he wants you to know with in that.
Two ways he could have used more PATHOS would be: One he could have tugged at you by saying do you know where you came from who you really are. Second he could make it appeal to more readers by to a more general audience. He could then appeal to everyone and make people feel like they are connected to these lost beings.
Today humans are sophisticated, inventive, bold and beautiful, we work, and play and nothing is ever questioned. But where do we really come from? Who are we related to? Is it possible that we are closer then we think to that annoying person next door? Looking back at time yes that is a possibility. Humans have evolved from 4 previous species. We have grown into superior beings. But if you look at our DNA we all may have different DNA but yet one gene sequence in all of us is related.
1. There were several arguments made in this article. One argument is if all humans originated in Africa, or if they originated from a bunch of different places. Another one is if there were any related ‘human-like’ animals that we may have evolved from. The last argument presented is if the Neanderthals are related to us, or if there were a separate species.
2. This writer supports his arguments by using information throughout history. Another example that he uses, which can’t really be refuted, is DNA. By using this to support his argument, the writer can make an informative paper.
3. There is no pathos in this paper. The writer could of put pathos in to the paper to invoke more emotion. The writer could of used stories of humans interacting with the Neanderthals. The writer could have also said that the other scientists felt about his article.
4. Thirty thousand years ago, the Neanderthals and humans co-existed. Although no proven mating happened, they must of interacted. They could of taught thing to each other, which may be why humans and Neanderthals were once thought of as cousins, although their DNA is completely different.
The author of this article is debating the ‘Out of Africa’ theory. That is, whether Homo Sapiens evolved from Neanderthals that had already left Africa, or if the Homo Sapien evolved in Africa and then branched off into Europe and Asia, evolving into different races due to traits favorable in their environment. The author holds the opinion that the ‘Out of Africa’ theory is correct because of DNA testing showing that humans are not quite closely related enough to be a cousin of the Neanderthal, and that fossil studies show that the Neanderthal does not mix traits with Homo Sapiens, so interbreeding is unlikely.
This author did not use pathos in the article. They could have made it more emotional by bringing it to more of a personal level with the reader and the scientists involved. If we understood their passion and dedication to the theories and subjects being discussed and why they feel the way they do, we could get more of an opinion from shared human emotion in addition to solid scientific data.
For example: Dr. A is a scientist who went to the most prestigious universities and dedicated her life to the study of anthropology. She is appaled and feels her long and hard work in school is nearly being discredited by the claims and theories of this idea that states Homo Sapiens move out of Africa was recent.
Go to http://www.txtwriter.com/Onscience/Articles/humanevolution.html
1. Outline the arguments in the URL cited above (use premises to pick apart or just list)
2. How does this writer support his/her arguments?
3. Give me two examples of how the writer could have used pathos.
4. After reading, write an example pgh. or using pathos.
To connect my informative paper to my convincing paper, i will need to
connect the history of my argument to the actual argument. I will introduce
the argument an then give the history of the argument before I actually
argue for it and show that I support it. If it is an argument for the other
side, I would introduce the argument and give its history, and then explain
whu its not a good argument and should not be used.
2. This is what my Racial Privacy Initiative, which I am proposing for the
ballot a year from November, is all about. It is time to stop the
government from classifying individuals -- or demanding that individuals
classify themselves -- on the basis of skin color, facial features, hair
texture, national ancestry or ethnic background. Not only is it socially
abhorrent and politically divisive, it has become irrelevant.
3. This transition helps the paper change topics. It starts with a paragraph talking about how people in california need to give information about their racial background when applying to things such as a job. The paragraph after this transition talks about what the initiative will try to do. This paragraph helps transition by wxplaining that you shouldn't have to supply info on your racial background and it also introduces the initiative.
4. There are no problems. This Paragraph is perfect in every way, just like me.
I think that the history section provides the bases for a further extension of ones arguments. The history section should just gradually flow into a presentation or should just come naturally as ones paper extends into further depth. The connection between the two should be evident because the history is what is providing the grounds for arguments to be formed. My transitional paragraph came from the St. Paul pioneer Press title Photo exhibit tells story of Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and written by
Deborah Locke.
For two years, starting in spring 2001, Banerjee traveled 4,000 miles by snowmobile, kayak, raft and on foot over an undocumented and unforgiving land. He waited in snow blinds for weeks on end to see if a polar bear would emerge from a den. With native Alaskan Robert Thompson as his guide, Banerjee captured images large and small, detailed and broad, richly colored and stark in their simplicity. My favorite, "Unnamed Lake," shows a cloudy sky reflected in a still lake flanked by pine trees, marshland and mountains. A photo striking for its color shows muskox at sundown, a photo Banerjee took from ground level as an ice fog rolled in. In another picture, a yellowed polar bear moves toward whalebones. http://www.twincities.com/mld/twincities/news/editorial/9920357.htm?1c
This transitional paragraph is used first off to describe the art and photography of Banerjee, this directly correlating to a new opening of the artists work at the Science Museum downtown. The Paragraph travels through the journey of the artist, concluding with an argument that the work of Banerjee should be very much credited. The paragraph starts off with the history and making of the art and then provided and opinion for this art. These use this paragraph to transition from the history to a personal opinion. The problem in this article is that it doesn’t really provide any basis behind the “greatness” of the photos. It is just a case of they liked it. It would be a more persuasive article the author when into further detail of the reasons that the photos where so striking.
Having all the history in our papers can definitely help to convince or persuade later. History adds the strait facts in the paper, which gives credibility to the writer, which will appeal more to the reader. I think it is going to be somewhat hard to merge the history and convincing all together. To really convince though, I believe the writer has to include history of the subject to familiarize the reader with the whole background of the subject.
http://www.unreasonableman.net/2004/02/cloning.html
“Late last year, around 60 national academies of science from around the world called for a global ban on reproductive cloning, but said researchers should be free to experiment, as the Korean team did, with therapeutic cloning.”
“Researchers say there are many reasons why South Koreans -- and not Americans -- were standing at the podium Thursday at the American Association for the Advancement of Science annual meeting in Seattle, not the least of which is the support of the federal government.”
This transitionary paragraph gives recent legal type history of therapeutic cloning and then adds a viewpoint on why history played out the way it did. It also made a conclusion from the history of Americans and Koreans to what is currently happening in both places today and why they are the way they are (government support).
I liked how the writer tied in the history to the controversial side he was arguing. I wish it was structured a little better or flowed better between the two paragraphs. I did not feel like there was enough history behind the author’s argument of government support in this case.
I could use the history I have previously researched and stated in my paper to back up my arguments in the persuasive part of my paper. This will provide enough support to really convince the reader as well as added information that weren’t previously stated.
One example of a transition between history and the argument is:One debate that keeps coming up time and again is the topic of the legalization of marijuana. Marijuana is the most widely used illegal drug. Nearly one in three teenagers have at least tried marijuana by the time they graduate high school. It is also gets the most publicity for its legalization. Over thirty pro-legalization organizations have been displayed on the Internet alone.
The legalization of marijuana, although popular by today's drug culture, would be a very dangerous and detrimental act for the United States to take part in. Not only would it destroy families, but would also lead to the fall of our economy.
They use this transition to tie the history in with the argument they are trying to convince. They use a transition saying that marijuana is a popular drug in today’s times, reinfluencing the fact they stated earlier in the previous paragraph about the statistic of teenagers and how many have tried the drug. Then they go into saying why legalization is the best bet for the united states to do.
The problem I see in that is the feeling is they just jump right into the argument without easing the reader into why they should be convinced. They also don’t do a very good job at starting to convince the reader why, and it looks as if they didn’t research the reasons of the opposing side very well posing a very weak argument on their side.
I think that by expanding the history section to include devices such as ethos, pathos, and logos, it will become a more persuasive paper. For example, after a paragraph about the history of a specific law was passed, I will explain how it supports my thesis. On my other points I am going to expand into tragic stories of animal abuse, which will cause a great deal of emotions in the audience. My paper about animal abuse in the circus should convince the readers using a lot of emotion (pathos) and feeling for the animals. I will also add a persuasive conclusion to drive my points home about how people abuse animals in the circus and immediate action need to take place against animal abuse.
“Performing animals have always been a part of the circus and thus an integral part of American culture for over 200 years and of Eurasian culture for over 2000 years. Yet so many of us know very little about the how performing animals live, how they are trained, and how they are treated by their trainers and handlers. It is no wonder, then, that misinformation about performing circus animals abounds today.”(www.lionden.com/circus5.htm)
This paragraph transitions from the history of animals in the circus to personal beliefs about animals performing in the circus. It lets the reader know that the author is now going to describe what their opinions are and they are going to tell you the ‘truth’ as they see it. It does a good job of not being too direct in telling the reader this though. It’s subtlety does a good job of being a transition without alerting the reader to put up a barrier against the author’s opinion. The next paragraph starts with the author’s opinion.
Actually, I think that a good clincher to this sentence would be the author’s opinion on the topic. Just to let the reader know what the author wants to talk about. It would set the stage a little better. I think the end of this paragraph leaves the reader questioning what the article is going to be about. When writing a persuasive paper, I think it is most effective when the author clearly states their opinion. This allows the reader to look for the supporting arguments of this point of view and decide whether or not they agree.
The historical information on my topic will provide for solid base arguments. Applying important historical information as a writer allows points to be clearer and more convincing. Statistics and or other history will provide credibility to me, as the writer. My overall knowledge of vaccinations will help me assess possible opposing opinions. By addressing all aspects of my topic, I have the potential to become more persuasive and convincing.
“Despite these problems, anti-viral vaccines have, in some cases, been spectacularly successful (figure 1) leading in one case (smallpox) to the elimination of the disease from the human population. The smallpox vaccine is an example of an attenuated vaccine, although not of the original pathogenic smallpox virus. Another successful vaccine is the polio vaccine, which may lead to the elimination of this disease from the human population in the next few years. This vaccine comes in two forms. The Salk vaccine is a killed vaccine while that developed by Sabin is a live attenuated vaccine. Polio is presently restricted to parts of Africa and south Asia.”
The transitionary paragraph demonstrates the awareness of one side of the topic; to supporting and elaborating of the opposing side. The previous paragraph addresses the dangers and problems of vaccines. The transitionary paragraph acknowledges and rebuts the previous statements. Also, the transitionary paragraph elaborates on supporting arguments to the pro-side of vaccinations. The transitionary paragraph connects the two opposing sides while, supporting the pro-side of the argument.
1. I could use the history that I have already researched to further back up my arguments. It would be substantial evidence that would help to prove my side. I will work off of the history and make points that are a little less arguable so that when people go to dispute it I have hard evidence to back up my argument.
2. Animal studies have a long and distinguished history of validity.[4] They played key roles in demonstrating the hazards of DDT, benzene, vinyl chloride, and the tar found in cigarettes. Rachel Carson's seminal book, Silent Spring, drew its title from observations of the death of songbirds exposed to DDT.[5] About one-third of known human carcinogens were first discovered through animal studies.[6] According to the National Research Council, current animal testing protocols often substantially underestimate human risk.[7]
Critics of animal testing assert that risks in humans from low-dose exposures cannot be extrapolated from animal studies of high-dose exposures. The claim in mode that: "At high enough doses, everything causes cancer." This is simply not true. Most industrial chemicals don't cause cancer, even at very high doses. Studies by the National Cancer Institute, the National Toxicology Program, and other researchers indicate that only 5 to 10 percent of the 85,000 man-made chemicals currently in use cause cancer,[8]
3. They use this to transition between purposes because they say yes they have played a key role giving credit to those animals that were used already to help out our society. However, at the same time in the next paragraph they say how now with the better research they are finding that some of the information found from animals just isn’t true. To me it lets me know that yes they did help in the past but now some of the results are just not correct and could be obtained in different ways w/out animals.
4. The problem I do see is that they should transition a little different. What they have works but it could be better. They should have given an example of a test that hadn’t worked. They could then proceed to say how now we have alternatives for this procedure and animals are no longer needed and more accurate results are obtained w/out them.
When writing my paper, I am going to have to find a way to transition from the history part of my paper to the argument part of my paper. I think that it will help that, even though I have remained neutral throughout the history part, I have also discussed each side of the argument and outlined the arguments. Because the sides have already been discussed, transitioning to the actual argument that I agree with should not be hard. This transition paragraph would sum up my history and introduce my, personal side of the argument for my topic.
I found an example of a transition paragraph online. The article was on gun control and talks about death statistics involving guns. This is the paragraph I found:
“The 5,732 includes at least two categories of death that do not clearly belong because they do not clearly support MMM's anti-gun arguments. That is to say, MMM's use of death statistics coupled with calls for legislative control as a "solution" unmistakably implies that the cited deaths could have been prevented by gun control. It is misleading, therefore, to include deaths that would probably have occurred whether gun laws and, in some cases, whether guns themselves -- were present.”
The beginning of the paragraph took a statistic that was mentioned earlier and lead into their argument about why death statistics in general can be misleading. Before this paragraph, the general information was history or statistics and after this paragraph, the author explains their argument.
I think that this transition paragraph in general was well done because it seems to flow easily. The history flows nicely from the history and statistical aspect to the arguments made by the author. However, it seems as though there could have been more of a summary of the historical events or other statistics. Although, the article is small, so there isn’t much to summarize as compared to in our papers where we will cover 8 pages of history so a longer summary will be needed.
http://www.ifeminists.net/introduction/editorials/2004/0303.html
Thought Paper
I think that one way that we can connect our history paper and convincing paper is that we can use the history to show facts that will help in the convincing part. If I tell you something no matter what it really is if I don’t have facts to back it up there really is no reason for you to believe me at all. Therefore, with the history part going first you show the history and include facts for the reader to have a better understanding and when you convince they know many facts. Finally, with the history of both sides of your topic being before your convincing part you will let the reader know a little about both sides before you convince.
Pasteurized, homogenized cow's milk has been promoted as the perfect food for humans, especially for our children. This multi-generational advertising campaign has been so successful that the industry has a $multi-million advertising budget and a legislative lobbying influence in congress so powerful that every child in a public school receives a pint of milk each day -- whether he or she can pay for it or not. In 1999 the Department of Agriculture donated $200 million to America's dairy farmers despite the fact that the wholesale price for milk had reached the highest levels in history. www.mercola.com/2000/feb/27/no_milk.htm
I chose this paragraph for a transitionary paragraph because I feel that is had information, date or history, and also it is starting to try and get you to be convinced. The writer talks about, how milk is thought of as a perfect food and everyone is promoted to drink milk. Then goes into how much money is put into advertising and then how mch is given back to the dairy farmers.
I feel that they uses this section very well as a transition. This is because they start by talking about how everyone thinks that milk is good for you and most people do but by the end they are starting to convince you that milk really isn’t such good thing. They try to get you to believe that milk is kind of forced on kids and that it is just a costly product.
I see many problems with this article. One problem that I see has to do with the money that is given back to the dairy farmers. The way it is stated in the paragraph it makes it sound like the farmers are making tons of money now that milk prices in the stores are so high and then there is an additional $200 million going to the farmers after that. This may be all true but not all the facts are there. Milk might cost more then ever in the store but the farmers are not receiving all that money. In fact, up until last year my parents were making less money per gallon of milk then when they started milking 25 years ago. This is a big problem in this article because they might have facts but they don’t have them all.
Going from history to convincing, how is that possible? History consisted of the general topic, and now it’s time to move on to the convincing. This can be done by a transition paragraph. The paragraph would summarize the history and introduce the new paragraph of your convincing.
Soybeans are one of the crops that are being genetically modified. Since 1997 GMO soybeans are being used in an increasing number of products. There's a lot of controversy around GMO soybeans. However, GMO soybeans have never caused any harm to people. The possible negative aspects of GMO are more of environmental and economic nature: dependence of farmers on a few multinationals and contamination of wild plants.
http://www.soya.be/history-of-soybeans.php
It summarizes up that soybeans are being genetically modified and introduced some concerns people are have about consuming the product. The transition paragraph was used to make the paper move smoothly and not just jump into a new topic without knowing where it was coming from. They could have summarized more, instead of telling more of the history while introducing the controversies.
1. One can connect history papers and convincing papers. To do this, they must side with one side of the controversy. They can argue about their side, which should be represented by history. To do this, the person must develop good reasoning along with having facts.
2. By the early 1940s, human clinical investigation strongly indicated that asbestos caused cancer. However, animal studies repeatedly failed to demonstrate this, and proper workplace precautions were not instituted in the U.S. until decades later. Similarly, human population studies have shown a clear risk from exposure to low-level ionizing radiation from diagnostic X-rays and nuclear wastes, but contradictory animal studies have stalled proper warnings and regulations. Likewise, while the connection between alcohol consumption and cirrhosis is indisputable in humans, repeated efforts to produce cirrhosis by excessive alcohol ingestion have failed in all nonhuman animals except baboons, and even the baboon data is inconsistent.
3. They use this section to relate history with their argument. They set up what happened on a previous date and the discuss it. They prove why it is invalid based on other history. Thus, they argue their point.
4. There are a few problems that I can see. One would be that no everyone thinks the same way, therefore, the controversy might not affect everyone the same. Another would be that some history could be made up to help out with their arguments. Overall, the idea of people not agreeing is what makes the idea in questions a controversy.
I think it is important to make the connection of history to convincing smooth and very transitional. Maybe towards the end of the history section, you could start to blend the two forms of writing together. There will need to be a transition from one section to the other.
Example: “It is known that abuse against animals is sometimes a precursor to even more serious violence, including child abuse and domestic violence. People continue to mistreat children, other adults, and animals in a way that harms all of society. Unfortunately, we cannot save all animals that become abused, nor is it even appropriate in some circumstances. We would like to point out however, that focusing on the human beings responsible for the torture, ongoing fighting and abuse of these animals is very appropriate. Continuing to allow the torture and mistreatment of these animals within our communities sends a very wrong message to those individuals responsible for this activity. It allows the seeds of violence and disrespect for life to grow into even more violent activities.”
This paragraph comes in between 2 paragraphs. The one before it describes treatment of animals and how they become vicious. Then during this paragraph they openly start stating their position on the issue of dogfights after a brief continuation of the history section. They go on to explain their position, attempting to convince the reader that their views are justified.
I think that the previous paragraphs are a bit too opinionated and seem like they are making too strong of arguments too early in the paper. The facts they point out however, are valid and would make an impression on someone reading this.
1. I feel that the best way to tie in the history of the topic with the opinion part is to simply transition from one to the other. I would like to do this by talking about the history of why people are against gay marriage, then the history why they are for it, and finally why I agree with the idea of legalizing gay marriage. I feel that this sequence would be most successful when describing the topic and transitioning over to my opinion. However, there may be points in the paper where I would have to interrupt the history part in order to make a point why I feel it is wrong. This may not be necessary but the opportunity may come up where I'll want to interrupt and make a valid point for my argument.
2. http://www.thebatt.com/news/2004/02/03/Opinion/SameSex.Marriage.Amendment.Needless-595502.shtml
States are already handling gay marriage according to the wishes of their constituents, which is a much more effective way of dealing with a diverse population subject to changing opinions. Most states forbid same-sex marriage, according to USA Today, which makes a change to the Constitution superfluous.
By leaving the matter under state jurisdiction, Bush and Congress allow regional differences to shape legislation in a more accurate reflection of the will of the people. While 37 states have laws against same sex marriage and Alaska, California, Nebraska and Nevada prohibit it in their constitutions, many of the legal rights granted to married couples are bestowed on same-sex couples in New Jersey, Hawaii and California.
3. This part of the article starts by talking about how states are already handling the topic individually. The transition goes from that thought to actually talking about certain states and what position they have on the topic of same-sex marriage. It also does a good job by giving examples as to certain states and their position on the issue.
4. As with most online articles, transitions are usually hard to notice or they are very weak when used. I had a hard time finding a transition in this article but the paragraphs do seem to relate somewhat so I fealt it was a good enough example of a transition from one thought into more details on that thought in the next paragraph. Obviously when going into a paper form that has multiple pages, structure and transitions will be much more noticable in comparrison to an online article. Articles online may only be a page or two at the most so all of their ideas need to be brief and to the point. This is the main problem with online articles in general. They just don't have proper structure to them. They lack intros and conclusions sometimes and paragraph structure is usually thrown out the window.
Here are the questions:
I can connect my history with my upcoming convincing papers because my history is coming from both sides of the same-sex marriage issue. I have about equal amounts of history for same-sex marriages as I do for going against same-sex marriages. I actually found it easier to find issues against same-sex marriages rather than being for the issue. The history that I reached was convincing to me and I found some of the research topics easy to read. I actually had a hard time finding information on different types of issues that did not keep repeating what others had to say. I think a lot of the history will connect to the convincing paper fairly well because of the history being credible.
On the website titled, “Same Sex Marriages Just Say "No" to Prohibition,” by Doctor Susan Block, I found a trasitionary paragraph relating to my topic. The transitionary paragraph is “Of course, there are happier, "gayer" reasons not to prohibit same-sex marriage, like the radiant newlyweds of San Francisco's "Winter of Love." That historic moment, when a courageous mayor gave the right to marry to people who love people of the same sex, ignited acts of romantic civil disobedience reminiscent of Rosa Parks and the Greensboro sit-ins. The comparison isn't perfect. You can't hide your skin color, while you can closet your sexual orientation. Yet there are parallels. Slaves couldn't marry. After emancipation, most states outlawed interracial marriage. Racists called for Constitutional Amendments prohibiting black-white marriage with the same sanctimony the anti-same-sex-marriage set utilizes today.”
In this paragraph, she relates same-sex marriages with racism from the past and an experience of the sit-ins. She also makes the comparison of not being able to hide your skin color to not closeting “your sexual orientation.” She also made the point that slaves weren’t allowed to marry but mentions about the emancipation. Then again she relates her topic with history again with no allowing black and whites to engage in marriage to today’s issue of not allowing same-sex marriages.
A problem I saw was maybe she kept going back and forth from the history to the issue that she was supporting. I also saw that she only supported being for same-sex marriages. She did mention a couple statements about what she was brought up to believe but didn’t really give a fair amount of history on each side.
I found the CNN article to be a well-written, compact, and to the point article. I found it easy to understand with the statistical information provided. I also thought the quotes from patients with their opinions gave me more insight into the topic. The article states the health issues that may occur due to breast implants. The article gives brief and general information on the actual procudure and provides the historical stats of the surgery. The author mainly delivered a message against the use of implants. The author could have given more reasonings supporting why the huge increase of breast implants has occurred.
After reading CNN’s article on breast implants I wasn’t extremly impressed with the writing. I understood it well though. Now talking in class about the verb form “to be,” I noticed it was used quite often in this article. I believe the quote from Michelle Pitts was useless in the article because it really didn’t support anything.
I believe the topic of “Breast implant operations increase, despite controversy” at the present time more women are getting breast implants and they are not satisfied with the implants. Many women are complaining about getting health problems from the implants and finding the easy way out they are suing the company Dow. Even though more and more women are complaining about the implants, more and more are undergoing the surgeries.
The point of the article is many women are getting breast implants and less are satisfied. The women turn to suing the company, because of the complaint of health problems. Despite all of the unsatisfactory results 275 percent more women are getting implants. Another point to me feels that they are almost introducing and advertising the saline implants.
I believe they could have improved on the quotes of the women undergoing the surgeries. Another problem I had was the switching on topics. First they announced that more women are getting breast implants and more are complaining. Next they talk about the lawsuits between the surgeons and customers. Finally they talk about the new saline implants. I think they should have focused on one topic other the switching around.
1. I believe that this is good writing because the author didn’t impose his/her opinion on the matter. The author realizes that the controversy is there, but left it open to interpretation. This makes for an unbiased article because the author doesn’t side one way or the other. It just simply states the facts about what is going on.
2. The author makes a link to women still wanting implants after so many people today disagree with the health risk factors. The article states that there has been a “275 percent increase since the operations in 1992.” However, “thousands of women who claim they suffered health problems due to implants sued Dow Corning Corp.” This means that the women who are getting these implants are ignoring the risk factors involved. It seems as if these women have to try out breast implants for them to see if they will give them trouble with their health.
3. The point of this article is to inform the audience of the current state on how implants are being reviewed. It shows that women are still risking their health in order to improve their body image.
4. To improve this article, I feel that the author could put more facts about people who were happy with their breast implants. That would provide for a more unbiased article. The author could have also explained all of the risks that a woman undergoes when she decides to get the implants.
1. I believe that this is an example of good writing. The purpose of the article is to inform, and not to argue for anything. This article does a good job of that. It stays unbiased and presents information for both sides of the issue. Also, the article has many various topics, and it usually does a good job of transitioning between them.
2. This Article was about women getting breast implants. It was about how women used to be against breast implants because of the health problems they cause. It also says that now implants are safer and fewer women are questioning them.
3. The point of this article is to inform the reader about breast implants. It informs the reader that many people are against breast implants because many women have suffered health injuries from the implants. It also informs the reader that there is not a link between breast implants and health problems. The article then informs the reader of the huge increase in the number of breast implants in the last few years.
4. This article has some areas where I believe it needs improvement. First, there are a couple of paragraphs that don’t have a good transition between the topics. This occurs where the article talks about saline implants being safe. The next paragraph starts talking about a typical woman who gets implants. There is no clear transition between these two topics. Also, there wasn’t enough background information. The beginning of the article confused me because I didn’t know what the article was talking about.
This article was good in that is had a lot of facts and statistic about implants. It also had a lot of quotes form doctors and a patient. The two doctors were: Dr. rod Hester a plastic surgeon and Dr. Leroy Young of Washington University Medical Center. The patient by the name of Pitts, was a lady who stated her point of getting implants.
The topic was of the growing amount to implants preformed today, “…275 percent increase in the operations since 1992.”Also, the unknown side effect of getting implants; whether implants do lead or cause illnesses. Also, Changes the material used in implants from silicone to saline.
The point of the article is show awareness to the public and women who are thinking about getting implants that even though saline is safer then silicone, there is chances of side effect later down the road.
The article’s author could have improved on getting each side of the story instead of looking at mostly negatives of implants.
I think that the article seemed to flow very well, however it seemed to lack certain sustenance in information. It generally just asked the question why there has been such a drastic increase in breast implants in the last ten years. I think the article was good; it made you really wonder why all this surgeries are occurring. However, I didn't like that the article provided no reason for this dramatic increase, it simply said that it occurred. The article was based on this increase in breast implant surgery it also opted to focus on the concern surrounding the surgery. There were significant examples of health problems and worries over the silicon implant wearing out with age. The article concluded with a women’s personal reasons for getting breast implants, and it being or some sort of personal confidence enhancement. I think the point of the article is simply to convey awareness in the rapid amount of implant surgeries that are occurring. Also to provide some of the main health restrictions of the surgery. I think this article could gain strength by the writer including more information on the relative health effects of the surgery. I would also be more compelled to read the article if the writer offered some reason for this national increase in breast implants. It seemed that the article simply stated that the increase has occurred. I think it would be really interesting if the writer came up with some reasons that for the surgery if it be American culture, or globalize images of the perfect body or some other justification.
This article had good information in it and didn’t waste space on unimportant material un-needed for readers to get the point of the article. I liked that it was very ‘to the point’ because I felt it made the point of the article clearer. The grammar and mechanics seemed appropriate as well. It had quotes from doctors and patients on the issue, which was good because then we as readers can hear what people that have had experience in the matter discussed have to say. The quotes increased the credibility of the writer.
The article contained information about the current debate over the safety of breast implants. Silicon implants had known risks, so a new form of implant was developed from a saline solution. Although risks even with the saline have become evident, there seems to be more and more women wanting to get the implants. There was even a very large lawsuit that cost the company Dow Corning Corp. $3.2 billion.
The point of this article seemed to be to inform readers of the history of breast implants and the risks associated with both old and new methods. It also pointed out that despite these risks being known to the public, there is a boom of women rushing to get the procedure done. One doctor pointed out that about ten years ago he used to perform about 2 augmentations for every 50 removals of implants. Currently it is the other way around. Another point to the article was an attempt to have readers sees things from the side of women who go through with the surgery despite the risk. To reflect this side they interviewed a woman who wants the implants.
Although I think the article was well written I think that sometimes transitions from one point to the other was rather abrupt and better transitions could be used. Sometimes it made the article’s flow sway.
Implant Boom ~ Katie Sexton
After reading the article from CNN I know more about implant. The article was done in a way that everyone can understand. This is one reason that I feel the article was written very well. I found this article very easy to read and it was an up to date article that also had information from the past. It was very interesting to read and it had personal stories in it, which makes me feel connected.
The article is basically talking about how in 1993 there were some implants put in but not very many and now there are more implant put in then ever before. Also that these implants that are being put in when they may be the cause of some health problems. It also says a little about why women feel the need to get implants put in.
I feel that the point of the article is to let people know that just because many people are getting implants doesn’t mean that they are safe. It also shares how much money a company had to pay because they were sued by thousands of women that claim the their implants caused them to become ill. The final point that the article made was why women get implants. I think they added this to allow those who just don’t understand why you would ever do something like this to better understand what women are thinking.
I think that one thing that the writer should add to this article is how much it cost to get the implants. It was shared how much the company had to pay the women for their bad health claim but it never said how much it cost to get the surgery done. I also would have liked to know when the first implants were put in. I would like to know this so better understand why some of the health problems have not been looked at. Other then that I thought the article was very well written and that it was easy to understand.
1. I think that this article is good writing. The article is all grammatically correct from what I can tell. Also, it is informative. The author talks about some history and the change in trends with the number of women who are getting breast implants these days. The “safe” alternative of receiving a silicone implant instead of a saline implant was also discussed. Current controversies, for example the court cases, were also mentioned and gave more background on current issues. The author also showed both sides of the issue and quoted both a doctor and a woman who wanted to receive implants.
2. The article speaks about the controversy of getting breast implants. Compared to the past, more and more women are getting breast implants even though some women blame breast implants to cause certain diseases. Although, researchers have yet to discover whether the breast implants are the true cause of these diseases.
3. In general, I think that the point of the article was to inform. However, it does seem as though the author may have had a bias with their opinion. At the end of the article, the author mentions that “safety remains unresolved” and I think that the author’s goal is to address the safety of the controversy. Most of the article is focused on the bad side of the implants. The author discusses how implants are questioned with whether they cause disease, lawsuits have been filed against them, and they can have many harmful affects. The author never addressed any positive aspects of breast implants, leading me to believe that their goal was more to convince that implants were bad.
4. I think that the author could have improved the article by talking more about the other side. Maybe they could have discussed how breast implants can improve a persons self-esteem or have quoted someone who’s life has improved from breast implants.
Thought Paper
Kristin Head
This piece didn’t strike me as particularly good writing. It wasn’t bad; it just didn’t scream good writing. I really don’t like the paragraph structure of the piece. Some paragraphs are only one sentence long and then it moves on to the next topic and paragraph. Some could be combined, or more details added to better support the paragraph. One sentence says that the FDA “practically banned the use of …” The use of the word practically is weak and is not backed up further to make it a stronger argument, or a source of information. The writer employs the use of pathos when he quotes Michelle Pitts.
The article was about how the numbers of breast implants are on the rise despite the facts about how unhealthy they are. It discusses lawsuits from women with implants and what medical problems the implant have been linked to. It gives a personal account of a woman who is about to get breast implants.
I think the point of the article is that even thought history has shown that implants cause problems for the women who get them; many women are still having the procedure done. It is a mostly informative piece, although it does give a personal account from a woman who is about to get implants.
As I stated earlier I think the paragraph structure could be improved. More transitions are needed. Everything that is in the article is relevant but could be related better. It could be more specific and detailed, with the lawsuit and I didn’t really understand the doctor’s quote. The quote needs to be sandwiched. There is some passive voice used.
I personally did not like this article. I found every time I ran into an informative paragraph it would end. There was not enough statistics or information put in to back up any point the article was trying to make.
The topic in the article was breast implants. The article was a brief view on how breast implants are becoming increasingly popular even though the risks of implants are not fully known. The article gave little information on the legal issues, emotional issues, and health issues breast implants come with.
I guess the point of this article is to inform the public that there is a craze over breast implants, even though they haven’t been fully approved to be safe health wise. It shows two sides of a controversy in a way by showing how breast implants could be beneficial to the patient, but how implants could still be unsafe to the patient.
The author could have put a lot more information in this article. The first place I stopped was the first paragraph. Instead of saying many women today are getting implants, I would rather see the statistics; who are these women, what age range are the women, and what kind of breast implants are they getting? The next part that really bothered me was the Dow Corning Corp; who are they, when was anything ever explained about that corporation? I wish the author explained more about why the corporation was sued, and what they actually did wrong. Maybe they could have added information about other corporations in the same field of work, and what those companies think about this Dow Corning Corp.’s mistakes. All this article gave me was many unanswered questions. It seemed like it was written to tell the reader what they already know from everyday life and it could contain a lot more facts.
I personally did not like this article. I found every time I ran into an informative paragraph it would end. There was not enough statistics or information put in to back up any point the article was trying to make.
The topic in the article was breast implants. The article was a brief view on how breast implants are becoming increasingly popular even though the risks of implants are not fully known. The article gave little information on the legal issues, emotional issues, and health issues breast implants come with.
I guess the point of this article is to inform the public that there is a craze over breast implants, even though they haven’t been fully approved to be safe health wise. It shows two sides of a controversy in a way by showing how breast implants could be beneficial to the patient, but how implants could still be unsafe to the patient.
The author could have put a lot more information in this article. The first place I stopped was the first paragraph. Instead of saying many women today are getting implants, I would rather see the statistics; who are these women, what age range are the women, and what kind of breast implants are they getting? The next part that really bothered me was the Dow Corning Corp; who are they, when was anything ever explained about that corporation? I wish the author explained more about why the corporation was sued, and what they actually did wrong. Maybe they could have added information about other corporations in the same field of work, and what those companies think about this Dow Corning Corp.’s mistakes. All this article gave me was many unanswered questions. It seemed like it was written to tell the reader what they already know from everyday life and it could contain a lot more facts.
Breast Implantations: Why are they bad for our health?
Yes, I feel this is a good example of good writing. The article was very good at presenting the health problems and risks of getting implants. This was supported well with facts and figures of breast implants. However, it presented the “other side” of the reasons why a woman may get breast implants very weakly. And was mostly supported with opinions or enthymemes.
The article brings up the controversy of breast implants. Some people think they’re good and others think they are a risk to our health. This article mainly focused on the side where breast implants are bad for your health. It said there is a dramatic increase of the amount of woman getting breast implants. They state that breast implants now a days are better then they were in the 1992-1993 ranges.
The point of the article is basically to inform. It presents the case of why breast implants are bad for your health and the author ends the article that leads us to question whether or not the safety is resolved with breast implants.
The article I feel has a bias towards the side that breast implants are bad for you, but they aren’t trying to convince anything. They are just supporting that side better then the opposing side. I believe the author needs to work on presenting and supporting both sides equally well. The author needs to explain more reasons why women are getting implants or positive aspects of getting the implants.
1. Yes and no. I feel that the article follows the format of most online articles but I feel that most online articles lack structure and transitions. The article hits the main points but lacks on details and transitions. It seems like the author was just trying to state the main points in as short of an article as possible.
2. This article talks about breast implants and how science has shown the side-effects but women demand them more and more each year. Silicone based implants have been baned now due to health risks and saline implants have replaced them. However, saline implants have a greater tendency to leak but are much more safe health-wise. The artical mentions that a settlement was reached between Dow Corning Corporation and the 170000 women who received the implants.
3. The main idea behind the article shows that women are still willing to have the implants put in despite the risks that come with implants. Implant operations have increased 275% between 1992 and 1998 when the article was published. The author also points out that the research behind the safety of the implants is still going on but from what is known, the saline implants appear to be a good substitute for the silicone-based implants.
4. I feel that the author could have done a much better job linking ideas together but this is what most online articles look like. Online articles in general would have to change their format all together in order for proper transitions or more details to be talked about. The article is too short and lacks supporting information that would make the article stronger. I think more examples of what happens to women with silicone-based implants would strengthen the case against implant safety. I also think that the same can be done for saline-based implants where there should be examples to support whether the implants are safe or if there have been reports of health risks for the newer implants. The bottom line is that the article sounds like something any student could write with minimal research and basic writing skills. Examples of real-world stories or cases always make an article stronger and it's what I would want to hear if I'm going to read an article on this subject.
1). Yes I feel this is good writing. The article was there for anyone to read. You didn’t have to have prior knowledge of the subject and there weren’t any huge scientific terms that you needed to know. It was written to inform the general public and that’s what it did. It gave facts and statistics as well as personal quotes and experiences.
2) The topic was breast implants. It was talking about the dramatic increase in the amount of women who wanted them in the past few years. It was saying there is no link between health problems and silicone implants but that 170,000 women were suing the Dow Corning Corp. for $3.2 billion. In 1992 Silicone implants were almost banned because of health concerns. That however did not stop women from getting implants. Since silicone is almost out of the question saline filled implants are used. They then have a few comments by doctors about the safety and a short story of a woman who decided to get them for herself.
3) The purpose of the article is to inform the public of the current state of breast implants. It tells us(the public) that there has been an increase and that while women may still be concerned about their health they are willing to get the implants. They want us to know that they don’t do it for someone but for themselves so that they have a better self image.
4) This writer cold improve by going into a little more detail about what problems have occurred and what women actually think about the problems and why they choose to get the implants despite the possible health risks. How many of these women actually experience problems etc… Also talk to a few more women and put there quotes on there so we are just not present with facts but opinions and experiences from women that have already done it. Also talk to ones that have had bad experiences as well as good ones to help in the decision of to weather it is right for someone or not and if they are willing to take the risk.
I think that this is a good type piece of writing. It is relatively choppy, however that is how people usually write news articles. The point of the article is just to get the main ideas across. The author states her main idea that breast implants are still experimental in a way, but there are no major side effects. She then gives examples of people who have had health issues, peope who want breast plants, and doctors who have had experience with different side effects. There are several transition words that keep good flow throughout the article and there is a nice introduction and conclusion.
This article is a general article about the popularity of breast plants. Many women want to get them now and many women are curious about the side effects. There is no strong connection between breast implants and other health disorders, but the Institute of Medicine is reserving their opinion about the safety of breast implants until further research is done. I think that this article wants to get across to women that breast implants are still experimental. There have been lawsuits of women claiming health issues after having the implants, which recently reached a new high. Therefore women should take precaution before deciding to have the surgery.
This article gets the job done of getting their views about breast implants across to the audience. However, the style is quite choppy and short. Maybe if they expanded on the quotes they have, things would be more clear. For example, there is a quote about wanting to get more research done which is its own paragraph. The article doesn’t expand, it only goes on to conclude that breast implants are still experimental. There isn’t really a flow of this article, which doesn’t make it the easiest thing to read. However, I think for what it is, it does its job very well. All the major newspapers are also very choppy. It’s just how news is written. If this were a formal paper, it would have to be expanded and made more fluent.
I believe that this is a good writing. The article was well written and very decisive. Since it was written for a news story the facts are presented in an organized form, which is the way I like to read stories like this. Instead of being filled with varying opinions and points of view, which tend to clog a paper. This article simply said this is what is happening and these are the risks now make your own informed decision. There was also another aspect of the paper I liked. I like the fact that while they were maintaining a level of professionalism, the writer managed to put a human face on the breast implant debate. In the article he showed a typical breast implant candidate. This helped me to realize that there are real people around the world dealing with this issue and that there is a reason for me to care.
The article was based on the long-standing debate over breast implants. The number of women having breast augmentation is at an all time high. With this increase in surgeries it is imperative that one looks at the risks associated. In the early stages of breast augmentation silicon gel implants were used, however they are virtually banned in the US. Women are now using saline filled implants, which may carry less serious health implications, have a high risk of leakage over time. Essentially there are still a number of health and safety questions that need to be answered; meanwhile more and more women are going under the knife in the quest for perfection.
The purpose of this article was to inform women and the rest of the general public of the risks associated with this beauty treatment. It was not to scare people, but to inform them that while breast implants are popular there are still several questions that remain unanswered.
This article could be improved by a few minor changes. The author mentioned several diseases that were thought to be linked to breast implants. The diseases were named but not explained in any way. A description of what each disease was and why it could be linked to breast implants would be a significant improvement.
Here is URL for the thought-paper today: http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/9807/08/implant.boom/index.html
Here are the questions:
1. Is this good writing?
2. Summarize the topic.
3. What is the point of this article (its purpose)?
4. Where could this writer improve?
In the November 23rd issue of the Star Tribune I read an article about abortion. I believe abortion is an issue with women but I have never really researched enough of the issue, so I read the article. The article that I read was about a specific women who has had an abortion and what effects it had on her.
One paragraph mentions that Jefferies talked about abortion to many weeping women that have kept their silence. A transition sentence that would connect to the next paragraph could be, after Jefferies wept over her issue she broke her silence by talking to others about abortion. The following paragraph says she had gotten pregnant, dropped out of college and started a career in the radio business.
The beginning paragraph is, her dedication to her ministry is growing and she hopes to participate in more conferences and reach wider audiences through speaking engagements and videos. The next paragraph begins with her saying she is not worried about how the decision to speak openly about abortion might affect her career. A transition sentence that would be helpful would be, Jefferies speaks to wide audiences such as teenagers to women and sometimes men to coop with their wives or partners.
Transitions are important in a paper because it allows you to understand the text better, rather than jumping all over the place. Transitions are one thing I have to work on to allow my informative paper to be smoother than what I have written in the past.
An example off the internet of a transitional paragraph is; Also Thursday, two other polls showed Bush opening up a significant lead in another swing state, Wisconsin, which went Democratic four years ago.
Danielle Hohn
9/27/04
Passive Voice/ Construction
There are two types of voice construction, active and passive. Active voice construction is when we have a subject (agent or actor) performing an action. In passive voice the subject is being acted upon. Use of passive voice is known to cause sentences to be loose, indirect and wordy.
Example:
Active: Jan curled her hair.
Passive: The hair was curled by Jan.
Passive voice construction usually includes a “to be” verb such as (am, is, are, was, were…etc) followed by a past participle such as “by”. Passive voice is only useful when the writer wants to draw attention to the action and not the performer. Active voice is usually preferred over passive.
I read an article reporting on the new glow in the dark fish that have been engineered and are for sale. They did a good job explaining what type of fish it was and other information such as health risks. Except at one point in the article they start giving some background on a man who defends any allegations that the new fish pose health risks. This is the paragraph:
Mr. Blake, 26, started Yorktown with a partner about two and a half years ago. Before that he started an Internet business that failed.
The paragraph leads you to believe that his background will have relevance to a certain point, but then the article jumps into a paragraph about a different gene altered fish being sold in Taiwan. I think I would have just cut the whole paragraph out and put in a paragraph saying something like this.
While the issues are just starting to appear for the glo-fish here in the United States, other parts of the world have current issues with gene altered fish only adding to the question of environmental risks.
I also read an article about the importance of military intelligence and how it has changed. They started talking about current terrorism efforts against Al Qaeda and how hard they are to track down. Then they jump into how intelligence officers need to be poets because most can't ask for a cup of coffee. I feel that the paragaph needed more information of how this relates to how hard they are to track down. It's obvious they are talking about the language, but I want to know specific examples to set up the reasons for the failing intelligence. Just how exactly isn't the intelligence working. something that leads you up to the conclusion of failed intelligence.
Transitions are important because they help to connect separate arguments. Transitions help to make points feel justified as well by following up statements with reason.
The first article that I found is titled "Old songs revisited by voices of Today." This article talks about all the old classic songs that are being revisited and becoming a big hit in the new young pop culture. This is largly to do with new artists recovering the songs and in turn creating them again into a huge hit. These two worlds which seem to have no relation to eachother are now finding themselves much closer then thought. The introductory paragraph talks about the differences between the pop of grown-ups and that of a younger world. The ending of the first paragraph is as follows: "One, the world of pop for grown-ups, is a land of song where sunsets are dramitic and the pace is leisurely. The other, younger world is a defoant nation under groove, a fast-food franchise in which tornado watched are announced daily." My transition statement would follow as, Who would of thought that these worlds would of ever become connected by the industry that united them both- music.
My second newspaper article is titled "Camel Crossing Ahead: A New Sahara Highway." The end of the introductory paragraph is as follows; "Forget compass readings, camel caravans and disorientinf, potentially deadly Jeep journeys through the worlds's most fabled and forbidding desert. Soon it will be possible to take a leisurely drive along a paved two-lane highway from the spot where Europe kisses the tip of this continent inot the heart of sub-Saharan Africa." My transitional statement would be something like envornmental travels will soon be able to experience a scenic drive throught this emaculate desert with the addition of cutting some of their traveling time off. The second paragraph continues as follows, "That's the idea, anyway. In theory, travelers along this would be trans-Saharan highway will soon be able to take a ferry from Spain across the Strait of Gibralter, drive through Morrocco and Western Sahara and cut 300 miles of Mauritanian dessert.
Transitional statements in a paper allow for flow and a continuational ubderstanding to occur. One is albe to follow the structure of a paper better when transitionals aid in telling the reader what point is soon to be followed. However, in a newspaper article ther is a lack of transitionals because the point of the article is to convey information and facts. Therefore, transitions are unnessary because the reader doesn't need to know where the article is going because all the facts are condensed down into shorts paragraphs of information.
The first para. talked about Starbucks haveing Wi-Fi-enabled laptops, patrons can listen to music. Then the next para. talked about how much they cost to the store to have this for their customers. The sentence I would used to lead into the next para. would be: Even though these free internet access compters are freee to use they're not free for Starucks; each patron but me a member of T-Mobile Hotspot service, which costs $30-40 a month.
The second para., which is after that one talks about Starbuck offering this like a toy that a fast food place may offer. The trans. I would use would be: Liek the ways a Happy Meal works to get kids to go to McDonalds, the Wi-Fi will hopefully get more customers to go to Starbucks.
Transitions are used to make a paper flow; from one subject to another, like butter. It is used to go from on subect to another with out any confussion where that next subect come from, it relates the up comming subect to the previous one.
The Texas Joint Stock Company scam is an form of asset protection scam that these days seems to be run mostly from the Dallas area by a bunch of con artists who got into trouble a few years ago selling bogus Pure Trusts. Having been whacked by the IRS, yet desiring something to sell to suckers, these con artists have come up with yet another mythical asset protection device in the form of the Texas Joint Stock Company.
So what is a Texas Joint Stock Company? It is an unincorporated entity, much like a general partnership. Section 31.10 of the Texas Business and Commerce Code requires that any person conducting business as a Texas Joint Stock Company must file in each county in which the entity is doing business a statement setting forth that a fictitious business name will be used (not to exceed 10 years).....
This was a good trans. since they ended with the first para. with Tecas Joint Stock Company, then stated with that in the following para.
Both variable life insurance and variable universal life insurance are securities. Those who offer these products must follow SEC, NASD, and state securities regulations, in addition to state insurance law. This means that a broker must tell you the important facts about the pros and cons of the exchange. Your broker or insurance agent should recommend such an exchange only if it is in your best interest and only after evaluating your personal and financial situation and needs, tolerance for risk, and the financial ability to pay for the proposed insurance policy.
Your broker or insurance agent may recommend that you use insurance policy values, such as loans or withdrawals, to pay premiums for a new life insurance policy. This activity is generally called "financing" premiums....
The first para. talked about insurance policy, then started with that in the next para.
Transition
The article that I read was from The New York Times, and was about a study on the links of higher speed limits to deaths. The article was well written and very interesting. The base of the article is about the report form the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety. It gives many testimonials and states facts and even has chart for you to look at and know how fast people are driving in different states. Although this article has a lot of information it is missing or could use a little work on some transition sentences.
The first transition sentence that I would like to change is in the ninth paragraph. It talks about how they have a study that says that they raised the speed limits to 70mph and people would go 75mph or higher and cause many more deaths. It then goes into how most of the stats that went to a higher speed were in the West. Then the next paragraph goes into how the people that lived in states with a higher speed limit tend to drive faster. I would change the way they put those paragraphs together. I would have went and stated that many people in the west are allowing the speed limit to be raised and this is causing more deaths and this is because of higher speed limits. I then would have stated that when they raise the speed limit it just causes people to go faster to drive about that speed limit.
The second transition that I would change comes at the end of the article. It is talking about how it is harmful to drive faster. They say that raising speed limits is harmful and then the next paragraph into how many deaths there are in speed accidents. I would have just slightly changed this transition by saying that raising speed limits are harmful because people are less safe when they drive fast and cause many accidents. Then go into how many deaths were caused by high-speed accidents. These are my thoughts on what I would change these transitions sentences to.
Transitions sentences are important to writing because it is how you keep your reader interested. It also, helps you keep things that you are writing about in order and make since. Finally, transitions are important so that the reading is smooth and connecting.
Thought Paper
My article is about the United States loosening price controls on prescription drugs. The U.S. has already beaten back controls in the U.S. and now the American pharmaceutical industry is working on controls oversees. The first paragraph is about the U.S. talking about a free trade agreement with Australia. American officials are working on loosening price controls on prescription drugs in Australia. It also talks about how the negotiators have included this in a range of issues, and it is not seen as a core issue.
The second paragraph talks about how the U.S. plans to work to loosen price controls in other countries as well. The drug industry reports that drug prices in the U.S. could be lower if we loosen controls in other countries.
The transition would be something like:
But is price controls a core issue? It should be included ahead of all the other issues. If this agreement is worked out with Australia , not only will we be helping out Australia, but also ourselves. We will be able to use this agreement to convince other governments to loosen their price controls as well.
Transitions are very important in writing. In my paper I will be sure to use smooth transitions from on paragraph to the next. Without transitions, the paper will seem to jump from one place to another. The reader may get confused and give up reading it and all similar literature, and as a result of poor transition usage your reader will come to support the opposing side of your argument.
The article that I read is from the New York Times and was about the problems of crime in China. There are a few different paragraphs that could use transitional sentences.
The first example is when the article uses a quote from the local police. The policeman was quoted to saying “They were playing games with the kids’ lives. We want an explanation.” The next paragraph just goes on to talk about a low crime rate. I think that a transition is needed here, and maybe something could be said using the police or law officials. For example, “Law officials agree that China has a low crime rate.” With this transition, it would take the policeman who was quoted earlier, and link him to law officials that talk about low crime rates.
The second example is another time when the article used a quote. The quote is from a father who felt as though families cannot speak out against the police, who he feels is not doing an accurate job. Next, the author talks about how much the government paid the family. I think that a transitional sentence could be used between these paragraphs. A transitional sentence could go something like “In place of helping the families with support, the police are offering money.” With this transition, it shows how the police are trying to deal with the frustrations that the families have and the paragraph can lead into the money that the government gives.
In general, transitional statements are need in all types of writing. I know that I am going to need to use transitions in my own writing and for my paper. Transitions help bring all the ideas together and show how they all relate to one another. They show how my first idea in my paragraph is linked to the next, which is linked to the next, and so on. Sometimes, when I read something that does not have transitions, it makes me wonder where the writer is coming from and sometimes it feels like ideas are coming from no where. If a paragraph can’t be transitioned or related with other information in the writing, then maybe that information isn’t needed at all.
In an article called “The Search for the Perfect Gift Grows at Small Online Stores”, there were many descriptions of different examples of gifts, but the article didn’t really flow. For example, one sentence ends “And much of the growth is being driven by search engines like Google and other sites like Amazon and the online marketplace eBay, which are sending shoppers to tens of thousands of online stores, many of the small independent operations.” The next paragraph begins, “Shoppers cannot feel the softness of a cashmere sweater on a Web site, but the internet offers speed, low prices, detailed product information and a way to avoid the holiday crush at the malls.” A transition that I would put in between these two paragraphs is: Although shoppers may be buying from small, independent operations, they do not get the same experience shopping online, that they would if they actually went to these small stores.
I think that the main reason to have transitions is so that readers can see the connection between all of the different paragraphs and ideas. For example, if you are trying to persuade someone into believing you point of view, you need to make sure that your argument is clear and thought out so that it makes sense to the reader. The more an argument makes sense, the more likely it is that the reader is going to agree with you point of view. It’s also a lot easier to read a paper when everything flows nicely, instead of choppy writing that is used to get news across in newspapers.
An example of a good transition is in this short story online about someone who always sleeps during the day (the white) Sometimes it was only a flash, like someone switching off the light, and switching it on again at once, and so whenever it was white, he dozed off. (next paragraph) One day, when it was white, he put out a hand and he touched something.
Another example is in the story about a funny man in town: “He told it all round town, how he had outfoxed his Missus. He certainly was a caution!
(next paragraph)
But he wasn't satisfied with just outwittin' her.
The article that I read is “Colorful Clothes, Plasma TV’s, and Toy Top Shopping Lists”. Most of the paragraphs jump from one item to the next. The article goes over what items are big sellers right now in anticipation of what will sell big for Christmas.
One paragraph goes from talking about how Victoria’s Secret’s new bra is doing well to a handbag from Christian Dior Couture. A transition that could be used is: Another women’s luxury product that is doing well this year is a handbag from the Latest Blond line by Christian Dior. I thought those paragraphs needed a transition because it went from one thing to another with no relation, except that they were both appropriate for the article.
Another paragraph goes from talking about Plasma TV’s to the new Hokey Pokey Elmo. A transition could be: Toys for adults, such as the plasma TV, and toys for children, like the new Hokey Pokey Elmo, are both bigger and better then last year and selling out. These two paragraphs needed a transition because the first one talked about TV’s and the second one talked about children’s toys. They had almost no relation whatsoever.
Transitions will play a huge roll in my writing because we are taking a big paper and writing it in 4 different sections. I am going to need a lot of transitions to make the whole final paper flow, and make sense. I will also need to use transitions between the arguments within my pro and con paper. I will also need to use them in the history part to go from one piece of information to the next. Transition can also be used in going from intro to body and from body to conclusion. Learning how to write transitions will help me with the rest of my writing throughout college.
I recently read an article from the New York Times called “Gays Respond; ‘I Do’ ‘I Might’ and ‘I Won’t’” This article was discussing the issues behind same sex marriages. While some gay couples are more than ready to have a legal marriage others are more reluctant. While this article was very informative and on the whole, well written, there were sections that did lack a smooth flow.
For instance in the beginning of the article was a story of a gay couple that has lived together for twenty-three years, own a house jointly, and wear rings of their commitment. The author mentions the fact that this couple is unsure of getting married based on the fact it would complicate their finances, but then the flow abruptly changes and begins talking about recently passed same sex marriage laws and the controversy behind them.
These paragraphs would have sounded much better if a transition had been added. For instance when the author was done discussing why the couple does not want to get married there should have been transition to the effect that after twenty three years Mr. Barton and Mr. Sullivan are posed with this question because of recently passed laws related to same sex marriages. This transition would help the reader to understand why this couple is thinking about marriage and lead the reader to find out more about the laws.
Later on in this article I ran across another another area that could use a clearer transition. In the deeper sections of this story several gay or lesbian couples were offering their point of view on marriage. There were several couples that did not want to get married even if it was legal to do so. One couple felt that it was too much for the one partners extremely conservative family to handle. Now it is understandable that the author offer other reasons as he did but I believe a transition would have helped the paper flow. After mentioning the fact that a family was conservative a transition such as, conservative views are not the only reason some couples are choosing not to marry. In the case of Mr. Barton and Mr. Sullivan they believe that marriage would simply complicate their finances. This transition would have helped tie together different opinions and ideas that the reader is presented with.
Transitions are extremely important in every type of writing, whether it be for a newspaper or for an informative paper. Transitions help the reader to follow the author’s opinion and ideas. Without transitions it is difficult to see the theme or what the paper is leading up to. In my paper I realize that I need good transitions. I am writing on Chronic Wasting Disease, a topic unfamiliar to many people. It would not be practical or effective to simply present point after point. I need to introduce my information to my reader and then slowly and smoothly shift into my opinion side. By having smooth transitions I can hopefully present my paper and convince my reader to believe my side based on the fact they see my writing as logical and smooth.
Within the Editorial section of The Star Tribune, a letter from a reader was published. The author of the short article jumps from point to point without making smooth transitions. The author of the article has written her opinions on educational programs within her community. A possible transition between two of the points may read: “In the future, both the head commissioner and school board members may use their power in favor of the students, parents, and teachers.” By using the transition after the opening paragraph, the readers may have a preview of what will follow.
Transitions play an active role in my writing by providing easy reading, a preview to proceeding topics, and to back my credibility as the author. Transitions provide my writing to be more effective to the reader(s). Separate points or ideas are easier to understand and listen to with smooth transitions. Whatever my topic or writing purpose may be, effective transitions allow my points to be stated more clearly.
On the web, transition statement examples are given using common transition words such as: moreover, also, however, and, while. Some examples include: “Jillian is dedicated mother to her children; in addition, she is a talented professor.” Another form of the same points include: “Jillian is a dedicated mother to her children, and she is a dedicated mother.” Both of these transition statements can be used to link two separate paragraphs and two separate points.
Transitions
One witness to the killing refused to come to court at all. Another ran from the Brooklyn courthouse on Wednesday only to be forced to take the stand yesterday. A third testified at first that a man in the audience was the one she was menacing the victim, but then after a tearful admission that she had been threatened, she said it was the defendant.
This was the scene at the courthouse yesterday. Cops were everywhere, all of the people on high alert for anything bad that might happen. Witnesses arriving with armed escorts their faces hidden to protect them. A town shaken by another murder so close to home.
It has been a tumultuous six days in the murder trial of Drpree Harris, a hulking man with dangerous reputation in the Bedford-Stuyvesant neighborhood. Last year in the same courthouse, a judge said he thought Mr. Harris was responsible for killing a 20-year-old witness to a different murder in a neighborhood school-yard. Publicity about the killing of that witness, bobby Gibson, led to calls for better protection of witnesses nationally.
Transitions play a role in my writing by giving me a way to link my ideas and thoughts together. They make it smooth and easy to follow. They offer an end to one paragraph and an intro to what can be expected in the next. With good transitions people want to read what you have to say next and it can make or break your paper in some respects.
"Arizona's slot canyons are slice of grandeur"
1. "...The fissure in the sun-baked Colorado Plateau, like the other slot canyons there, was carved by water, and water is at work today.
Slot canyons are the Grand Canyon's skinny kid brothers:...."
Transition: Water, over-time, makes slot canyons known for being the Grand Canyon's skinny kid brothers because of their deep narrow cuts.
2. "...:As many as 500 peole a day visit in summer.
Its sandstone sides widen at ground level, forming a chain of dimly lighted..."
Transition: One of the reasons this canyon is such a popular place to visit in the summer is it's breathtaking sandstone sides that widen at ground level forming a chain of dimly lighted rooms.
Transition statements are a very important part of writing. The ending of one paragraph should flow into the next paragraph. I think the goal of transition statements is to keep the readers eyes on the peice of writing, not breaking the flow. Transition statements help to keep the reader from having the question "how did we get to talking about this subject". Every peice of writing should include transition statements.
Transitions
Transitional example:
What is needed, Ms. Shelton and other dance producers and company directors say, is a midsize-to-large dance theater (1,000 to 2,200 seats) with stages big enough to accommodate large companies with productions – classics like “swan lake,” for example – that require more scenery than a backdrop and a few props.
There are many facilities available thorough the city for companies to use. Many of these places are full of history. However with today’s declining economy, many companies find these facilities expensive.
City center, a 2,750-seat theater with a rich dance history, is no longer affordable for many companies, though there are troupes that do well or well enough at its box office every year. Even if one or more sections of the center were closed to create a smaller house with a more realistic number of seats, the entire theater would still have to be rented and a full staff and services paid for.
Transitions play a key role in our daily reading. Transitions are what make the paper, good or bad. Without transitions, the sentences do not flow as good and are harder to read. They link thoughts and ideas together. They make reading go easily and faster then if you didn’t have transitions and you have to figure out where the author has this information and why it is relative to what your reading.
Transitionary paragraphs
In addition to the costs of site remediation, there are other site-specific costs that add to the overall burden of protecting the public and ecological systems against the legacy of uncontrolled releases of hazardous substances. In particular, operations and maintenance (O&M) activities will be necessary at many sites /15/.
Relatively speaking, immunotoxicity data is the endpoint lacking for the greatest number of CEPPS. This is a serious deficiency in knowledge needed by health and risk assessors because of the essential role of the immune system for protecting one's health.
(both taken from http://www.atsdr.cdc.gov/toxhazsf.html)
Added Transition
Lindbergh, who also had six children with his wife, Anne Morrow Lindbergh, in the United States, became famous for his daring 1927 solo flight across the Atlantic from New York to Paris in 33 hours.
As a restless world traveler, Lindbergh’s family was use to him being away most of the time. He would spend various amounts of times in each of the countries that he visited. This amount of time he allotted left him lonely and wanting another relationship.
Lindbergh started a romance with a Munich hat maker, Brigitte Hesshaimer, in 1957 when he was 55 and she was 32. They had three children: Dyrk, now 45, Astrid, 43, and David, 36.
Transitions are important because they provide a link to the next paragraph. It helps so the paper isn’t choppy. When transitions are present, the paper sounds fluent, as everyday speech would be. This appeals more to the reader. The reader can also establish a connection with the writer, as if they are having an actual conversation.
The paragraphs I found that I felt needed transitions were in an article written about Russian oil production. The manner in which the paragraphs were structured were very to the point and seemed to make the article seem very mechanical. The first paragraph discussed an announcement to halt oil production, and the paragraph after that states that it is still unclear about the certainty of the announcement. There was no transition in the article, just a blunt jump from one fact to the other.
If I were to rewrite the article that contains a transition there, I would have written something like this: ‘The announcement came just minutes before directors of the two companies were to meet in Moscow to complete the merger, which was announced in April.
Although the announcement was clearly stated, it is still unclear whether Sibneft’s announcement means that the deal is in danger of being defiantly off”.
I think that transitions are an important part of writing, so they will be very useful in writing my papers for this class. They seem to add a smoothness, or flow, to the information that you are trying to convey to someone. Having a paper with transitions may make reading your paper more enjoyable and easier. In my writing I have found transitions can be very helpful in bridging gaps of information that may make my writing seem ‘choppy’ otherwise.
Article title: "After bloddy week, Turkey mourns and marches"
Source: Star Tribune (Sunday, November 23, 2003)
1. ....Then he attended the funeral of a well-known actor killed as he sat in his car at a stoplight outside the HSBC bank blown up on Thursday.
At least three groups purportedly linked to Al-Qaida's terrorism network have claimed responsibility for two simultaneous attacks on two Istanbul synagogues....
.....police maintained high-alert guard at places of worship, malls and other potential targets.
Several thousand Turks waving national flags gathered Saturday morning in an Istanbul plaza near the crippled consulate.....
2. Terrorism by suicide bombers has occured in other places as well.
Despite all the bombings and loss of life, Turkish people banned together in a sign of patriotism.
3. The first transition I thought was needed because the author went from one bombing to another group of bombings without making the transition from one to the other. It was an instantanious change.
The second transition was needed because again there was a dramatic change in subjects with nothing to relate the high-alert status to the people waving flags in a plaza.
One controversy I have thought about choosing for my paper is same sex marriages. Another topic I could choose for my paper is the war in Iraq. The last topic that I have been considering for my paper is cloning.
If I wrote about the war in Iraq, I would use purpose, context, audience and ethos, pathos, logos to improve my paper. Context would be that the war is causing gas prices to rise here in America, and that will make people not support the war. Most people in the U.S. have already chosen whether they support the war or not. The purpose would then be to motivate to action the people supporting the side I chose to write about. If I argued for the war, I could use ethos by quoting members of the government saying that we need to go to war. If I argued against the war, I could use pathos write about our soldiers being killed in Iraq and make people sad.
I have thought of many different controversy topics that I would possibly like to write about for my paper. My first possibly controversy is whether gay marriage should be legal. My other two topics are both about music. File sharing and downloading music are a big part of today’s teens it is a controversial subject among the music industry. Also, many people have different viewpoints on how music is classified and when music is considered to have “explicit lyrics.”
If I were to choose the topic of downloading music, I would have to consider my audience. My approach to my paper would be different depending on whether I am writing to someone in the music industry or if I am writing to a teenager who uses file sharing daily. I am unsure how I stand on this topic, so there are two different purposes that I may take. If I supported file sharing, my purpose would be to show that file sharing is a way to make music accessable to everyone and a way for small bands to get their music heard by
more people. The opposite side would have a purpose to show that file sharing is a threat to the music industry and when people download music, money is
being lost and more and more people are losing money every day. To achieve the ethos, I would have to do lots of research and get lots of information from
credible sources. I would have to use lots of factual evidence to support my argument
Since I am an animal science major, I would like to write about a controversy dealing with animals. I would also want the paper to involve information about helping animals. This is why I chose the topics that I did. I was thinking about what I could do and came up with testing products on animals, the beliefs of vegetarians or vegans, or maybe factory farms versus family farms. These topics involve preventing the death or cruelty of innocent animals. All of these topics would help animals live a better life if they were to be considered.
To persuade people to consider my views, I would have to use the old Greek format of pathos, logos and ethos. I could convince many of the audience using pathos with pictures of animals. Since most people find animals ‘cute,’ I could use this to my advantage. I could also use the concept of logos to inform my audience on the cruelty of animals using pie charts and graphs. To obtain my credibility of ethos, I would have to use resources that were previously credible.
I found an example online of animal cruelty. It was from the site www.animalcruelty.com. It informed the viewers by having a flash presentation. This presentation included pictures of animals that have been tested on. In all of the pictures, the animals seemed as if they were depressed. The pictures depicted monkeys and cats that were being tested on. The animals had wires all over their faces and the monkeys appeared to be screaming. The website also included quotes from famous people on how wrong it is to be cruel to animals. They also provided solutions as to what we can do if we want to help with this problem. It provided an overall feeling that treatment towards animals is horrible.
1)What are some possible controversies you could choose for your paper?
2)How could you use audience, purpose, context and ethos, pathos, logos to wirite on one of these controvesies?
3)Find an example of one of these(ethos, pathos, logos, audience, purpose, context)online and summarize.
Some possible controversies I could choose for my paper could be the illegal downloading of music, movies, games, and other file applications. It’s already become a large issue since the day the downloading service Napster was invented. I think I would be able to apply an interest in a large audience concerning both the current youth population and how they feel about spending large amounts of money for entertainment, and I could also bring in the older generation audience on how they consider it stealing and worry about future implications. There is a broad audience that can be reached I believe just given the way some things have gone so far. 80-year-old grandparents have been sued because of files that were downloaded on their computer without their knowledge by a teen. I could use ethos by doing research on articles and possibly learning the laws that are in place, writing letters or emails to record companies or artists. I could find support from both sides by asking different generations about their opinions.
Some other controversy possibilities would be rising tuition and its impacts, job outsourcing overseas and what companies have the biggest effect such as Wal-Mart choking the mom and pop stores out of business because of how they lower prices because things are cheaper overseas.
The top three controversial issues that I would like to choose are same-sex marriages, stem-cell research, and abortion. I choose these three because I believe I have more interests and a little knowledge in these three.
To write on the three controversies I would recognize my audience by making an argument and allowing my text to be interesting for everyone who is for and against my article. The article would also be easy to read. The purpose of my paper would be to express my feelings about an issue and allow people to understand my feelings toward that specific issue. One issue I am more leaning towards is same-sex marriages and a context relating with that would be the rights of the people or freedom of value and on the other hand it would be against religion and economic rights. The credibility of writer would be people who are interested in same-sex marriages or people who have feelings they want to express about same-sex marriages. I want to try to persuade the audience to one side of the issue, but allowing them to think about the issue.
Controversies
Some possible controversies I could choose for my paper would be animal testing, cloning, animal in the circus and children in sweat shops. These are all issues that I have wondered about at some point in time or have wanted to know more about. I have feelings for all of these issues and am interested in going more in depth about them.
To write on one of these topics I would have to take into account the audience that will be reading it. The next step will be figuring out the context my audience is coming from and what their views might be. As well as finding out what they may be looking for and what they may or may not already know. For the purpose I will have to inform my audience and convince them that what I have to say is something that they should be reading. To do this I will use some pathos and logos. I will use pathos to appeal to my audience and draw them into what I am saying. I will then use logos to convey my message in a way that makes sense and that is easy to follow and understand. To support all of my information I will use ethos. I will offer facts, quotes, and information from credible people.
I looked at an article about animal testing controversies. In this article they talked as if their audience was well educated and somewhat spiritual. They talk like their readers already have a strong feeling about animal testing and know something about it already. For example they use words such as sophistication, and they are somewhat spiritual when the say death-for-life runs deep throughout all cultural systems.
Some of the controversies that I may use for my paper are: why the dairy industry is important, why everyone should make sure they get 3-a-day, or are small farms better then large farms. I chose all of these because they all have to do with the dairy industry and that is something that is very important to me.
I think that when I write these papers I will write them to people that do not know as much about the dairy industry or to people that do not know what 3-a-day is. I will be writing these papers to inform them on what I know and why it is so important. Overall, my message will be to get other people to realize that everyone needs the dairy industry is some form of way. I think that as a writer I will do a lot of research and use personal accounts to make myself credible or trustworthy. I will try to get the audience to feel engaged or give them a better understanding about the dairy industry and maybe at the end they will appreciate it more. Again, my over all messages in all three of the topics will have to do with the dairy industry and how important it is and to give the audience better understanding.
On the internet I found a great site about 3-A-Day. It is very informative and it has a lot of scientific information including studies that have been done that prove that drinking milk and eating other dairy products will help you lose weight. This website will be very helpful and could be used as part of the ethos and make it more credible.
Possible Controversies
Stace Robertson
Some possible controversies I could choose from for my paper are child spanking, surrogate motherhood and if children should be able to stay home alone if they are under the age of 12. I am interested in all of these topics and know that there are underlying controversies in each of them. I have not been able to narrow the topics down to a single question yet.
Consider I was using the topic surrogate motherhood, I could use many different forms of pathos, logos and ethos. To gain credibility I could use many different resources to gather my information on, I could interview people who have surrogate babies and also use different quotes from my sources. An example or a story of someone who has a surrogate baby could apply to someones pathos or their emotional appeal. Surrogate mothers are becoming more and more common in our society and this could be one of the reasons that the topic is reasonable or appealing to a persons logics. For logos, I need to make sure my paper is consistant and the message is clear to the reader. The purpose of my paper would be to persuade people to accept the idea of surrogate mothers. The audience or people that are reading my paper are the people in my classroom and my instructor. I need to make sure that I can make the topic relevant to them so that they stay interested in the topic. In my context I could use statistics, different stories or examples and actually what surrogate mothers are.
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Possible Topics for Rhetoric 1101 Paper., etc.
There is an impressive array of possible controversies to choose from within my chosen area of genetic technology. These include the proliferation of gentech foods, the range of medical knowledge and technology that has arisen in recent decades, and the religiously based fear of the propriety of exploiting certain technologies.
The use of the Greek formal conceptual methodology to think about my work is both distracting and obstructive to my thought processes.
The exercise of Q3 is by logical extension more than a mere inconvenience.
Is this a graded assignment? Am I losing points if I leave it as stands? How much time do I have to amend this?
Thought Paper
Some possible controversies that I could write about that actually interest me would be same-sex marriage, cloning, or abortion. When it comes to same-sex marriage, I have no problem if two men or two women want to be legally married. Marriage today is such a pathetic thing anyway due to the divorce rate being near 50%. Since when did “Til’ death do you part” mean so little? If two people of the same sex feel they want to be together forever, then let them and let them have their tax benefits as well. Cloning I feel is one of the more scary things out there. We as humans have enough of an evolutionary advantage on other species already. Survival of the fittest means nothing on Homo sapiens. To make a perfect person would only increase the chances of us taking the world over and eventually killing every living thing on the planet because of our greed to make money and the fact that the only thing that can destroy us is ourselves. Abortion is always a touchy subject but as far as I care, I think the decision should come down to the mother. She is the one that has to make this life-changing decision and has enough emotional trauma at the time. To force a woman to have the child takes away her right to choose what to do with her life and her body.
If I was going to focus on same-sex marriage, I feel that the audience should be informed of the religious and cultural aspects of the subject. I know that the reader could be for it or against it so I need to be considerate of both sides yet still make my opinion heard. I want to try to convince the reader that same-sex marriage is perfectly fine in today’s society since the sanctity of marriage is a bunch of crap and people are much more sexually open today. I feel that when looking at ethos, I want to use the fact that I am young and in the current generation to my advantage. I am in the age group of people that are actually getting married so I would know first-hand what it’s like to grow up in today’s society.
Thought Paper
The possible controversies that I might choose of my paper, all have to do with animals. I might do the paper on wild mustangs and how they are over populating and becoming a problem to local residents in western United States. I might do animals testing, the large controversy of that issue. Another might be cloning, some pet owners what their pets cloned. These are some of the issues I’m considering for my controversy paper.
My audience would consist of animal people like myself or medical interested people. My purpose would to inform my audience of the issue. The context and logos would be flowing, constant, and well organized. I would obtain credible ethos for sources well known for there knowledge. The pathos would be geared towards the emotion that comes out of the issue of the animals.
Controversies
Some possible controversies I was thinking about writing my paper about are animal testing, pollution of the environment specifically possibly global warming or different ways that the environment is polluted, something to do with why people act the way they do or the controversy of the growth hormones in the meat we eat are making us as a society essentially “grow up” faster. These issues have always intrigued me as a person and have had curiosity towards.
I would first pick the side of the controversy that appeals the most to me. I would then inform my audience and persuade them that my paper is indeed something that they should be compelled to read all the way through. I would use lots of facts and credible sources so my audience would know that I’m just not making up this controversy and supporting it with limited or useless facts. My message should be loud and clear about what I feel so my persuasion is heard and gotten through to even the reader who is usually doesn’t agree to the side I am presenting but then becomes open to the information I’m presenting and sees it as a logical side as well.
I searched for an article that was about the growth hormones in the food we eat. They talked about how the growth hormones are beneficial to people today. For example, they talked about a woman going thru menopause can eat soy and not have to take hormone supplements. They were stating all of the good effects of having hormones in the food we eat.
Thought Paper: controversy
Possible controversies that I could use for my paper include: chemical/wastes within the Great Lakes and possible health effects, the paying of college athletes, or education standards. All of these topics I am concerned and interested in learning about. I find all of these subjects to have somewhat of a relation to me as the writer. Different approaches would be taken for each individual topic. Pathos will play a major role in my writing tactics in all three of my potential topics. All of my issues relate to an audience that may be reasoned to with a certain emotional approach. The paying of student athletes however, would take a more logical approach using more facts and figures to gain credibility.
Thought Paper
I have three ideas for my controversy paper. They are euthanasia in animals, confinement of circus animals, or crossbreeding of animals to create new species. I would like to do crossbreeding of animals to create new species but I’m not so sure how controversial it is. I’m not sure if there would be enough sources on both sides of the issue to write a good paper.
My main audience is you, the teacher. I don’t know how much you know about the topic, so I would probably be more informative than say if I was writing to a group of Veterinarians. Others in the audience would be pet owners, PETA, interest groups for pet safety, Zoos, Veterinarians, research scientists, and the animal medicine companies. My argument would be in favor of crossbreeding because it is evolution, just at a faster pace. New species are created everyday in nature. I would get research support and reasons from credited scientists, popular interest groups, and Zoos. Some of the ethos for my paper would be from the scientist and their research. The pathos would evolve from both interest groups and the need to create new species.
I have several ideas for my controversy paper. The first idea I have is determining the value of herbal medicine. There are many nations throughout the world that rely on herbal medicine for the majority of their cures. These nations include places such as Chine, Japan, and many African nations. There is another side to this argument, which is the medical world’s perception of herbal medicine as something used my quacks and cons. My second idea is something that is a little closer to home for me. I am considering writing about Chronic Wasting Disease, CWD. In Michigan, where I am from, the majority of people are hunters. The possibility of the disease transfer and the hysteria associated with it is causing a great deal of trouble for many hunters and businesses alike. I would like to look at either side and decide whether or not there is a legitimate concern. The last idea I have in related to global warming. I am thinking of researching the controversy related to the rising water levels due to the melting of glaciers.
In order to write a credible that will be interesting I plan on using the logos, ethos, and pathos concept. If I am writing a paper on CWD, for instance, I am not credible alone but by using testimony from experts in the wildlife arena I can have a good ethos, The message or logos I hope to bring out is that there is either reason to be concerned with CWD or it is something that has been over publicized. Once I research I can decide my logos. Finally, pathos can be used in the writing. I will keep in mind that my audience may not know about CWD or understand why it is such a huge controversy in some areas. Therefore I will have to give good background on the disease itself and appeal to the emotions of a reader to make them care about this issue.
I found an article on the Wisconsin DNR website that talked about CWD being found in Wisconsin deer. The article was written to inform the general public that CWD had been found. There was good credibility since it was from the official Department of Natural Resources website. The article informed people about what the state planned on doing to limit the spread and actually helped to ease fears.
For my paper, I was thinking about doing the ethics of keeping animals in zoos purely for the entertainment of people. Another idea I had was whether or not animals should be kept in places like Disney World or Sea World to entertain people. While many of these animals actually enjoy performing, I can’t help but think of Free Willey. Animals are meant to be in the wild. The last controversy I was thinking about was the mistreatment of racehorses. I think that it would be easy to create pathos in these arguments because everyone feels for animals. Some of the stories involved in these controversies are just heartbreaking. To create logos, I would have to find specific examples such as first-hand accounts of mistreatment and scientific articles proving that animals should be left in the wild, because it isn’t healthy to keep them caged or make horses run excessive amounts. The reason or ethos of my paper would be to create a better life for animals who cannot speak for themselves.
An example of logos for the argument in keeping animals out of zoos would be an article I found on a national geographic website about how living in zoos shortens the live of elephants. This would be a logical reason why animals should not be kept in zoos. This article also brings in pathos because people might feel for the elephants. While everyone loves seeing elephants at the zoo, they would certainly not want to risk the animal’s life just to see it. I believe that enough articles like this would successfully persuade the reader to be against zoos. I also know every time I go to the zoo, the polar bears always look really sad wandering around their tiny cage in circles. I think that my paper would have a lot of pathos in it, but I would definitely support it with logos and ethos. If I did horseracing, I would write about articles such as how many racehorses are slaughtered each year, simply because they’re useless or have been run to death. This should be very interesting.
Three main topics I am considering for my assignment are treatment of the elderly in nursing homes and if their care is sufficient for good mental health, how ethical it is to keep animals in zoos and the eating habits of Americans.
For the nursing home topic, I could first interview residents and employees of nursing homes from varying location and cost (how high quality they seem to be). The stories and quotes I get from these could help appeal to the reader weather it is a positive story or a negative one (I haven’t gotten enough information to decide weather I will be supporting or opposing placing a family member in a nursing home). To build my credibility (ethos) I would have to rely on the statistics found by other reputable sources. I would find out things like how often the residents are checked on, involved with activities, and if they have mental health check ups. I would use audience by trying to have the paper relate to the reader, almost everyone has or has had someone elderly in their life they care/d for and the facts and opinions in the paper should hold their interest and make them think about their ideals.
My first idea for a topic would be theraputic cloning. At this point and time I have only been exposed to this topic through a fellow student’s presentation in a animal biotechnology class. Another topic I was thinking about would be transgenic animals. Using transgenic animals as a topic might be too broad with all the information available so that could be specified into transgenic pigs and even more specifically, organ farming. A third topic to be considered would be genetically altered livestock. This topic would look at the food controversies of biotechnology by focusing on our meat and dairy products.
With theraputic cloning I would use pathos by using examples of people who have died of diseases or conditions that could have been easily cured with the help of theraputic cloning. Most of the audience will be emotionally effected because they know someone with a disease that could apply. Ethos in this topic would be studies that have been done in different areas of theraputic cloning. I would express logos by organizing all my arguments and information in a flowing manner. In this type of paper I think logos is going to be the hardest area to achieve success in because of all the information I will attain.
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