I have been asked by the eminent author of this blog to "star" as a guest columnist and entertain the readership of "17" that it so proudly boasts. noot van de redactie: dit is een schromelijke onderschatting en een voorbeeld van poor fact checking van deze gastschrijfster Since I currently lack anything resembling a meaningful social existence, I will have to share with you reflections on my everday life at...yes you guessed it, the University of Minnesota, School of Law. The Harvard of the midwest as it were, a place I like to refer to as the PATHWAY TO HELL or alternatively the KINGDOM OF LOST SOULS. To instruct the uninitiated in the ways of the homo lawstudentensis... I offer the following short excerpts...(note: you can disregard this entire blog entry if you have seen the movie The Paper Chase )
I will begin with a list of sample commentary from law students that I have been privileged enough to come across in my short tenure at this most prestiguous of institutions. Please see below:
"If a white person doesn't have money, a job, or education its because he is lazy."
"The Holocaust didn't happen...and if it did it is exaggerated."
"I can't go out with her, too fat, low class and ugly."
"Give me a beer you stupid cunt."
"The only reason you don't like guys with big muscles is because you can't get one."
"I would rather die then let my daughter set foot in a South Minneapolis school." (these schools have higher minority and economically disadvantaged student populations).
This section is followed up with the typical "hey, look how smart I am comments,"
Prof. so and so, what do you think about **insert eminent author's name here** take on the economic repercussions of tort reform in the context of medical malpractice? I believe **insert eminent author's name** treatise on the subject was recently published in the most recent Yale Law Review. I, myself, received a copy of the document to "edit" beforehand, so I learned about it before all of you. Thhhpppp!!!!
Hi my name is **insert name here**. Have I told you yet today that I have an A in civil procedure.
During my time at **insert name of ivy league undergraduate institution**, I read and analzyed all Supreme Court cases on freedom of speech, and I am better than you.
Back when I lived in D.C. (Note: these comments never end).
I got accepted to **insert name of any of the 18 law schools ranked higher than the University of Minnesota**, but I decided not to go because....(read into this comment, I am too smart for this institution, but I will grace you with my presence anyhow).
I AM GOD, I AM INVICIBLE...
So yeah, obviously law students are a pleasant bunch. Comparing my Master's program with the law school is all but impossible. In my Master's program everyday was like waking up in some remnant of a hippie's acid trip. We sang "Kum Ba Ya," held hands and talked about our feelings, lamented the cruel outer world and wished for a rebirthing process for mother earth. This is obviously a far cry from the law school, where the typical feeling between students can range from "I have to beat your grades, I have to beat your grades," to "I would tear your heart out with my bare hands and sell it on the black market if I could."
Yes, I am afraid there is no room for Zen sand gardens and yoga rooms in law school. No room for sharing your innermost thoughts, hopes and dreams. In law school the Zen sand garden has been turned into a litter box for the students who have literally been scared "shitless" by their first year. The yoga room is now an interrogation chamber for anyone who may even have talked to someone of Arab descent in the past 20 years. And your inner thoughts, hopes and dreams are prostituting themselves on the streets of South Minne, desparately trying to help pay your bills....Posted by vana0047 at February 28, 2005 5:15 PM