This chapter illustrates several theories for why we feel emotion and motivation, explores the concepts of happiness and self-esteem, and discusses these things in relation to each other. What stood out to me was the reality of self-esteem's importance to happiness and well-being. Indeed, popular psychology today places a huge emphasis on having high self-esteem in order to be happy and successful. What particularly struck me was that while having high self-esteem is positively correlated with happiness and negatively correlated with loneliness, there actually is no evidence that low self-esteem is the root of unhappiness (Lilienfeld, p. 427). The truth is, people with high self-esteem are just as likely as those with low self-esteem to be unsuccessful, depressed, or aggressive. Low self-esteem might play some role in these problems, but it probably isn't the main cause. Moreover, high self-esteem is actually related with being narcissistic, being aggressive when self-worth is challenged, and having "positive illusions": tendencies to perceive yourself more favorably than others do (Lilienfeld, p. 428). What this tells me is that having high self-esteem can be beneficial, as perceiving yourself positively can mean you're happier with yourself and your circumstances, but there is a fine line between being happy with yourself and being self-centered and narcissistic.
Chapter Eleven: Self-Esteem
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Great post! Way to take the topic, digest it, and give us a summary with a perspective!
First you say, "The truth is, people with high self-esteem are just as likely as those with low self-esteem to be unsuccessful, depressed, or aggressive." I have to disagree with this.
Self esteem comes from self knowledge. I believe that a very low percentage of people have good self esteem, and that the majority suffer from some degree of low self esteem.
Being aggressive is a sign of fear that isn't likely to come from a place of self knowledge. In fact, the fear-based belief system that is imposed upon children during the domestication process insures low self esteem.
Depression comes from feeling powerless, and helpless, however self knowledge is the key to personal power. Most people just spend their time trying to measure up to someone else's idea of who they should be -- certainly a cause of depression.
As far as being unsuccessful -- people with self knowledge learn that being successful is about following your bliss, and doing what you love most. You probably won't find anyone with real self esteem who isn't successful, or on the way to success.
Then you say, "high self-esteem is actually related with being narcissistic". Again, I disagree.
Both low self esteem and narcissism are flip sides of the same coin. In both cases the problem is comparison, rather than self knowledge and appreciation for one's unique self and purpose. If you base your self worth on how you compare with others, that is a very unstable position, as well as one that comes from low self esteem. I know it's popular to blame high self esteem for narcissism, but it's based on a misunderstanding of self. You would be more accurate to say that narcissistic personality disorder is low self esteem in extreme denial.
This article explains how the domestication process creates both low self esteem and narcissism -- http://www.self-esteem-guru.com/teenage-self-esteem.html
I definitely agree, I believe there is a difference between having a high self-esteem believing in yourself, and having a big ego and thinking you're better than everyone else.
I wouldn't think people with high self-esteem would be depressed, unsuccessful or aggressive. Most people would believe that having a low self-esteem would cause people to not believe they could do anything worthwhile and lead to be unsuccessful.
Very interesting blog.