I was very intrigued to read about the "too hard", "too soft", and "just right" parenting styles described in chapter ten (p. 388). Diana Baumrind's work provides insight into three different observable styles of parenting in which middle-class, Caucasian families tend to subscribe to. These styles include Permissive (the "too soft" style"), Authoritarian (the "too hard" style), and Authoritative (the "just right" style). The question then becomes this--which style is the most effective? The obvious choice is the "just right" option. Authoritative parents serve as a happy medium between the Submissive style of parents who are too lenient and give too much freedom and the Authoritarian ones who are too strict and deny their children this freedom.
I feel as though many parents or other individuals who read about Baumrind's work may ask themselves, which type of parent am I? However, I disagree with the idea that individuals all belong to a certain "group" or demonstrate behaviors in just one of the various parenting styles. Through personal experiences and the experiences of others that I have noted, I feel as though every parent finds themselves being the "too lenient" or the "too forceful" parent at one point or another. As normal human beings, I am sure that is rare that they find themselves to be the perfect Authoritative figure described in Baumrind's "just right" model of parenting all of the time.
I liked that you questioned what people would typically think. I definitely agree that parents can't be pigeon-holed into one specific type of parenting. I think it also depends on the situation as well.
Going off of what Madison said about the situation. From my experience, it all depends on the child. How a child reacts to different parenting styles is all subjective. My parents were the "just right" parents and encouraged me to do what I wanted, but did discipline me when I stepped out of line. But as I grew up, they become surprisingly lenient. They wouldn't care what time I came back at night on the weekends or what I did. I didn't go out to do drugs or steal stuff, but I just chilled with my friends. I think many parents become lenient as time progresses if they provided discipline and support at an early age. Even though I am not scared of being disciplined, I have been adopted my own values of what is the right and wrong way to go about things. Obviously some kids have lenient parents and do bad things as well as kids with strict parents. I think parents who are supportive of your choices and trust you will have the best relationship with their child. The situation of parenting has a lot of gray area and each parent will have to develop their own method for each child.
I really liked reading about your point of view regarding the different parenting styles. However, I personally believe that some parents do in fact fall into the Authoritative, or "just right" style. I agree that when the children of these parents do make a mistake or lash out in any kind of way, the parents will be more strict and enforce more rules. I also agree that when the children of these parents are well-behaved, the parents will be more lenient and give their child more freedom, and therefore more responsibility. I believe, however, that some parents reside mainly in the Authoritative category because of the behavior and personalities of their children. Some children act in a more responsible way, which allows parents to step back and allow them to have more freedom, while still reinforcing the rules when necessary. Overall, I thought this was a great post.
I agree with your assertion that a parent doesn't just fall into one style of parenting. I feel that most parents these days are some extent of authoritative, adapting their attitudes toward the behaviors of their children and teaching what they deem the right lesson for the situation at hand. Compared to the radically permissive style of post-war parenting or the strict authoritarian resurgence that followed, a happier medium has been found to raise children that know not to act on every indulgence but aren't inhibited by a strong sense of anxiety and shame.
This topic makes me think of the parenting styles we will adapt as we become parents! While now we might think we will have a different parenting style because of the way we were raised, usually parenting styles are similar from generation to generation. As we do get older and realize all the crazy stuff we did, we will allow our kids that freedom or realize the harms that could have come from our shenanigans and develop a parenting style accordingly?