Get to Know the Coast, Vol. 4: Slidell, Louisiana ( w/ co-star Ian Schopa)
Note: this post co-stars Ian Schopa: Gentleman, Scholar, Road Warrior, Coastal Cuisine Connoisseur
Let me tell you something about the South. They don't have any banks we have in the north. Period. Chase? Sorry. TCF? Are you joking? Bank One? Uh, nope. Wells Fargo? The only thing with a stagecoach down here is Boomtown Casino pal. This sucks on a banking level, but on a G2KtC level, it makes for a new adventure due to the fact that Ian, one of the newest additions to the Studio has Chase Bank and the closest branch is in Slidell, Louisiana. So I found myself in his car rolling on a little afternoon adventure to deposit his paycheck and hopefully see my first Target store in months.
We only got about 20 minutes logged before Ian remembered he needed to get gas so we stopped off at a little Spur station with the most peculiar umbrellas which really didn't cover anything attached to the pumps. After that it was clear sailing all the way to Slidell. Let me state for the record I was pretty excited to get some food and check out the Target by the time I got there and I must say that probably got my hopes up a bit.
Now don't let me disturb you, but under my impression Slidell was a never-ending strip mall strewn disappointment. That's putting it lightly. We drove around for quite a while and the strip mall was pretty much all we saw of note aside from a place called Textronics which for some unknown reason required a barb-wired fence to protect its precious textile secrets. Go figure.
We ended up driving around town for a bit in search of the Chase for the aforementioned deposit as well as to exchange a bag of change that Ian claims he planned on living off of for a week or so. Fair enough.
During our search we found the bank, and also discovered a couple of things...
1) Los Tres Amigos are a bunch of liars, there are waaaaaaaay more than three of them because we have a couple on Pass Road in Biloxi and Gulfport and saw at least three on the way to and in or around Slidell. My heart is broken. If you can't trust the Amigos, who can you trust?
2) Slidell is a sh*thole. Sorry Slidell, I had to say it. Ian and I both were thinking it, and it had to come out. Maybe if you put on some makeup and wore a pair of heels once in a while or gave up the secret location of your Target store I could love you. But right now? It's over. Leave your key on the counter.
3) Driving over the lakes and rivers into New Orleans is not natural in any way, shape, or form. I think things feel strange for a reason. Seeing a train crossing it doesn't make it seem any more normal either.
*update* seriously, I want to shoot moveable type in the face sometimes. I'll redo the rest of this post which it decided to delete later...