Yesterday a group of 4 of us had the opportunity to experience the views of a 60 years old couple that had been married for 39 years and had close to 30 grandchildren. We first heard from the man who was a leader of a mosque in Delft. We were there to work in the soup kitchen for a couple of hours, but instead, we were schooled with knowledge about life, relationships and the Islamic faith in a township in Cape Town South Africa.
The man started his informal lecture with historic information about his family's ownership of land. His great grandfather was of European descent and owned a significant amount of land. Through the years during the Apartheid Regime, his family land was taken because his family was now mixed blood and "colored". He later explained that during post apartheid, he was able to repurchase some of the land that his family once owned. This is now where the mosque and soup kitchen stands. He plans to use other parts of the land to build and orphanage. He said that there are a lot of orphans out there and they need a place to be safe and taken care of.
The man also initially approach us with an explanation of how there are different kinds of Muslims. It almost seemed as if there was an attempt to convince us as Americans that all Muslims are not bad and that we probably have misconceptions of who they really are. He explained that are extremist and fanatics that do bad things in this world, but he is a Sunni Muslim and they are very peaceful in their practices in life. He talked about the use of prayer and the commitment to do good for all of mankind. He also talked about how people of other faiths were welcomed to use their mosque for prayer. We were able to see some of this peacefulness and kindness through the work he was doing for the community through the soup kitchen and the way we were welcomed into his home.
He invited us to his home which was only a couple blocks away from the mosque. We did not even realize we were going to his home until we got there. We went into the house and he informed his wife that they had company. Our group later talked about it and felt there were some clearly identified gender roles. This was indicated by the expectation that this woman who was clearly tired and was not expecting us was supposed to get up and entertain us based on Muslim custom. Auntie Pradu, a stout woman that does not show her 60 years of age, came out of the back area of the house to greet us. She made sure that we all were provided with a beverage and then she began to speak with us. She asked us all where we were from, our ages and what we were studying in school. She paid us all complements on our appearances and then shared with us knowledge about her take on life.
She talked about her relationship with her husband of 39 years and the importance of communication and understanding. She also spoke about the value of family and living in a way that promotes responsibility and care for each other. She also talked about the importance of living space and provided a comparison of small spaces that the shanties provide and how the home that they now live in used to be much smaller. They found it important to build a larger space so that as she said "the spirit and individuals in the home have room to grow". She talked about being self reliant and the different ways that she was able to work to make money for her family. She is a very skilled cook and this is the skill she used to help make money for the family.
Their home was not very big, but was nicely kept and there were nice things and nice furniture in it. They employed a cleaning lady that helped to provide a living for that woman. Auntie Pradu talked about the importance of education and how she has helped to financially support her children through school. She said that she is actually still taking courses herself. She believes that education helps to develop the community. She said we must exercise our mind or we are dead. She also emphasized the point that they felt that they did not need to have a lot of things, but just the things that they need. We thought this to mean that there was no need to acquire more than you need to be comfortable.
Clearly with a sense of obligation to family and community, we had the opportunity to meet a 10 day old baby that Auntie Pradu had brought home from the hospital to raise because the mother is strung out on drugs. She welcomes the mother to come and see the baby, but said that the mother has only been to see the baby 2 brief times in the 10 days. She spoke of the practice in their family and community to take in orphans because they feel that someone has to take care of these children; "We must do things because we care about human life". She also attributed all of the children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren to helping her stay young.
Before we left their home, Auntie Pradu said that she wanted to cook for us and asked how many students were there with us. She then told us that she would cook lunch for all 25 of us the very next day. We then said our goodbyes and headed back to the soup kitchen. We felt very welcomed in their home and amazed but appreciative of her offer to feed us.
Our group met up again with Auntie Pradu's husband and he shared a little more information with us. He talked about the condition of our hearts being viewed by our creator and that this is where the goodness of all of us exists. He said that we should do good, be good and good will come back to us, but not in a way that we should be looking for it to come back. This is what his faith teaches.
"Good manners supersede knowledge". This was a quote from the man meaning that anyone can be kind to his/her fellow man/women. You don't have to have tons of schooling or money or status to be good, caring and sharing to your neighbor. We all believed that this is what we understand to be Ubuntu - we are who we are because of each other. If we do good to others we are doing good to ourselves.
We were all a little taken back when the man shared some of his views about apartheid and how well it worked to keep order in the communities therefore providing safety. He explained how aspects of the communities have deteriorated because of drugs and alcohol. He talked about the profound affect this has on children, families, ability to work, and the overall condition of the community.
Lastly he talked about the importance of forgiveness and in our lives. Even though it was a lengthy lesson filled with lots of information and a rather strong religious overtone, we found the sharing of his knowledge to be refreshing, enlightening and full of optimism.
