sooo many emotions!!!
I'm still overwhelmed, I don't think I'll ever find a better word for how I feel during this trip! Today was definitely hard for all of us, and like everyone else, so many emotions, thoughts and ideas were exploding in my brain. My heart was exploding, my brain was spazzing out, my mind was racing. I was touched by the Sister's feelings towards her work and her life and purpose in this world, and like some of my classmates expressed I began to feel (especially after walking through the clinic) that I will never be able to do enough. We see all the needs in Delft but what about all the other townships around Cape Town? What about all the other townships in South Africa? What about all the slums and poverty stricken villages all over the world that we have never even heard of, and may never ever hear of? There is an incomprehensible amount of need in this world and I am struggling with the emotions I have seeing one clinic in one township. Where do I even begin? I will never be a doctor so how will I use my talents and abilities to help others? How do I take something as superficial as my major in graphic design and help people all over the world? I would do anything to make just one person happy, but is one person enough? What is my potential and how do I maximize it? Along with all the indescribable emotions I am feeling I am filled with so many questions. I feel panicked, in a way, as if I am running out of time even though I am only 21 years old. I have already played out so many scenarios in my head about how I can immediately get started. I start to list places in my head, starting with South Africa, going on to Nigeria, then Rwanda, up to India, back to the US with everything I would have learned working and volunteering abroad, but the list never ends. There's always somewhere else that could use help, and who determines who needs more help than another? I have a tendency to want to do so many things that I never even start one, so my goal after this trip is to not forget this craziness in my head, and to make sure I actually do something to help, even if I don't think it will ever be enough. A little is always more than nothing, and I would be so wrong (for lack of better words) in doing nothing especially after this experience.