Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now?

Well being a guy, I bring a different perspective to this point of view. I've seen countless numbers of friends that have dated that stereotypical "Bad Boy," leaving the good ones in the dust. I have been this person in the dust multiple times and I don't like it that much. This has made me want to change to the bad but I know I shouldn't. Therefore, I have continued on my course of being the nice guy and sometimes get walked over in some instances. However, this will turn out for the better in the end when I find my perfect girl!

This is a very good post. I agree that we gals look for those "Bod boys" sometimes because the nice guys seem boring to us. But the so called bad guys might seem interesting only for a while and would not be our Mr.Perfect for long term relationships. You will definitely meet that guy. Its all about time. After all, there are many fishes in the sea!

Sorry about the typo.

Yes Anna, those bad boys do tend to be more attractive to many women, not just because they seem to possess different personality traits from you but because they show signs of dominance. An evolutionary psychologist might say that those bad boys are displaying behavior that might give them better access to resources and protection from danger, they seem to be stronger, less fearful and more willing to fight off other competition.

I think all the fancy theory essentially boils down to a few simple perceptions. Lets face it, a woman should be attracted to someone who seems exciting, adventurous, risk taking, not boring. This is the type of man who likes to have fun, who can get the blood racing with some of his more wild behavior, the arousal part of attraction, the passion.

He is also likely to be physically attractive. This kind of guy then gets a larger share of attention from other women, he can be bold and assertive. He is not afraid to come up and talk to you. You might think he is a jerk, but the nicer guy who might be a better match for you is too shy or worried about rejection to approach you and you would rather chat with someone then stand there alone.

The bad boy, as you know is not often a good long term mate. He is likely interested in a short term fling and tends to be direct about it. Good looking assertive men tend to have big egos and tend to be more in love with themselves than they are toward a woman. You might fall hard for him but he will likely be moving on soon seeking as many thrills as he can get.

One suggestion is to look for the agreeable, nice, intelligent, loyal, trustworthy guy and be a little bit assertive yourself. These kind of guys tend to be sensitive and perhaps a little intimidated by an attractive woman he does not know well. Expecting him to make the first move can be frustrating and may often be a missed opportunity.

One of the principals of attraction is reciprocal liking. If you show interest and approach he will likely respond. Finally, you are probably not going to meet a guy like this in a bar since he prefers not to compete with the bad boys who are getting drunk and hitting on women. Your type of guy will most likely turn up in one of your classes or is a friend of a friend. You just need to know what to look for and not get distracted by the macho dudes.

I found this post very interesting. I do agree that girls tend to veer towards the "bad boy". I agree with Jhon's view that women are attracted to "bad boys" because they display traits that would protect them danger. This makes perfect sense biologically. In my Biology class we are learning about mating behavior and humans have high selection for mates for both females and males. Some of this behavior can be explained evolutionarily such as females tend to choose mates that are of quality so they have the offsprings with the highest fitness to survive and pass on their genes. If women look for men like this their children will have those "bad boy" genes and have a higher chance of reproducing. I think this is a good way to explaining mate choice, but there are so many other factors in determining a life partner that evolution can't exclusively be used as the explanation.

I think that Mr. Right Now is fine for right now if your looking for fun and excitement, but keep an eye open for Mr. Right because you never know when he will show up.

I don't know if I am fully invested in either opposites attract or like goes with like. This is because of the current relationship I am in now. When I met my current boyfriend, I will admit, he was closed off and had this "bad boy" aura to him. I cannot deny I had some sort of attraction to him, we stayed up until six in the morning just to talk. However, I refused to date him and I am glad I did. When we met, I thought we were different. I was open and cheery, he was quiet and reserved. I talked and talked, he listened unless he felt he needed to add to the conversation. As we became friends, I accepted our seemingly huge differences and accepted a date invitation. We got closer and eventually I started dating him. So you would think I was all for opposites attract, but that is not the case. There are so many things that he and I differ on, foods we like, things we find funny and enjoy doing. However as we got closer I realized we were quite similar, just as I feel many partners are that seem to be utterly different. I wouldn't date him when I thought he was just a bad boy, and in all honesty if it were reversed and I thought we were too alike I wouldn't have accepted the date either. I feel that there should be some sort of middle ground, because too alike or too different I think should be left to just being friends. There has to be a balance otherwise, you have no room for learning new things or your difference cause you to always butt heads.

I loved this post. It's amazing how much attention and desire is put on finding someone that is opposite of you when most studies, like your video, show that similar mates function better and longer together.
I think about all of the guys that I've liked or been in a relationship with, and I don't know how many of them would be considered that opposite from me. I do, now that I think about it, tend to be attracted to people that are like me.
I have a lot of friends who are attracted to people with opposite personalities, and sometimes it has worked out for them and sometimes it hasn't.
I remember reading in our psych book all of those sayings that contradict one another and the ones that I remember the most are "opposites attract" and "birds of a feather flock together". I think it is true that people who have similar desires and traits tend to have a better relationship. This is all just in my opinion though.
Don't worry about Mr. Right Now vs. Mr. Right. I'm right there with you. Mr. Right Now is so much easier to find. hahaha! Mr. Right will come!