The "Correct" Way to Raise Children

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Numerous sources today bombard new parents with information about the "correct" environment to raise their children. These sources prey on the anxieties of the parents to provide the best environment for their children. I have learned in psychology that it does not take the perfect environment for a child to thrive all it takes is a "good" environment. As long as the child has the essentials of food, clothes, shelter, and love the children are likely to thrive. Couple-Swinging-Child5.jpgThe area parents need to concern themselves with is being as consistent as possible and trying to be as authoritative as possible. This means being both demanding and responsive to the child. Authoritative parents allow their child to develop on their own but sets limits and provide encouragement to the child every step of the way. Being an authoritative parent will allow your child to mature and gain self-confidence. When it comes to raising children it is not about being perfect but rather about being consistent and providing the essentials a child needs to thrive. What do you think is the most important aspect of parenting? Do you agree/disagree with anything in this entry?


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I think the most important aspect of parenting is maintaining a balance as well. Parents that display authoritative styles of parenting develop the best relationships with their kids. Also these kids have a great level of autonomy but also aren't afraid to ask for help when needed. I agree completely with your entry and believe that you don't need a "perfect" environment to thrive. As long as you have parents who love you, and give you some independence while restricting you from other activities, and the basic necessities in life, it is possible for anyone to thrive.

I think 'Correct" is relative to the particular parents and their child. I think being consistent is a good thing as you point out, but there are other factors to consider. We want our children to be intelligent, confident, and not afraid to fail. I think being supportive throughout their lives goes a long way towards them growing up to be happy people. I think providing the right stimulation while growing up is very important as well. I read this list of top 10 educational toys today which I think is a good start for taking you kids down the right path.

Consistency, as you said, I believe is one of the most important aspects of parenting. This allows the child to develop also in a consistent healthy manner. With regard to your statement on "As long as the child has the essentials of food, clothes, shelter, and love the children are likely to thrive" I slightly disagree with. The problem is these terms are all subjective. What is essential? That terms varies extremely within social classes and within families in the same typical social class. In my opinion there will never/should be a set parental technique for raising children. Each set of parents should decide ahead of time on the best technique for raising their children and try to be consistent and supportive in all of their methods.

For sure agree with you here. It is important to be strict with kids when they are young so that they know right from wrong. As they get older though it is essential to give them the freedom to make their own decisions and formulate their own opinions on things.

I agree 100% with this entry. My parents were married for 20 years and got divorced the summer after my freshman year of high school. That environment was totally different and, at times, not nearly as stable as when we all lived under one roof. It didn't matter though. I still know that both of my parents love me and I think they raised me very well. They were demanding about chores and being respectful and all of the things parents should be demanding of, but they also were very responsive to my needs and wants. They allowed me to participate in whatever activities I wanted, but required that I stick it out. I couldn't quit half way through the process. They let me hang out with friends, as long as they knew where I was going. They didn't hound me about my homework as long as I got good grades. I think I was raised very well.

I agree. Perfection of environment isn't necessary, but love and consistency is. Obviously everyone would rather be the perfect parents right off the bat, but this can only come with experience. Your first kid will probably be the hardest one because you don't know what works. I found that my parents adapted to my unique personality, and this was very important for me. I wouldn't like being told what to do all the time, and I wouldn't like my parents to know where I am and what I'm doing--I like independence. The thing is, this might cause a gut reaction that says "oh but your parents need to give you structure and rules for your own good", since I am essentially saying that I want my parents to leave me alone, but this all has to do with adapting to my personality. Yes, being so relaxed with a kid that gets into trouble wouldn't be being a good parent, it would be being lazy, but since I did so little towards being a problem child, my parents allowed me a lot of freedom and privacy. You set the ground rules, and try to be consistent, but once your kid has shown that they don't need certain rules you should be able to modify them. Some kids have patterns of behavior that require a different strategy of parenting from the norm.

Thats a good point about all the information being forced on parents about raising their children. Lord knows I wasn't raised by a book and i turned out fine, I think... But whats really important to raising children is common sense and genuine care and concern. A child can't be raised by a book just as a person can't live their lives by a book.

I think there is one correct way for parents to raise their children. Different parenting style has its advantages and disadvantages and it is often relied on cultural perspectives. For example, even though permissive parenting style could be the best parenting style, but it could not be the best in other culture. Thus, I think it is more important to choose the parenting style according to the cultural perspectives.

I think I have always been more interested in "setting the example" vs. being an authoritative parent. Maybe they are not that different. I always tried to active listen to my kids and talk to them the same way I talked to adult friends.

Ashlive's top 10 educational toys list was enlightening. Thanks

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This page contains a single entry by hedst058 published on April 29, 2012 12:54 PM.

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