I had read the essay by Jen Albright intitled Mean Girls: A Real Case Study, I though the piece was very emotional and had a huge meaning to the author. Some lines in her essay that I think had the most emotion was in the 12th paragraph in the first sentence. "From that day on, my life was hell. I was the slut." She sounded angry and upset at the same time in that one sentence.
Albright's organization was really good, the story line was in order and seemed to remember a lot of what happened so it may have been easier for her to describe the situation in the order that it happened.
Some of the things that the author could have inproved on was the way she wrote some of her lines, they sounded very juvinile and sounded nothing like what a college student should write like. For example in the first paragraph she wrote, "I enjoyed it, I felt like the social planner... very fun. Instead of writing the line that way she could have instead have wrote I enjoyed being the social planner. In paragraph five she wrote that, "They told me that she would be the person to do something like that, and I believed them(they wee my best friends)." In a paper instead of using parenthesis she could have wrote, They told me that she would be the person to do something like that, and I believed them, after all they were my best friends.
This paper was written very well and I liked it, it made me want to keep on reading because it was interesting.at September 22, 2005 3:03 PM