I'm Not Fine...
Dear Josh,
You have no idea the impact you had on my life. I love you. I am in love with someone who does not love me back. It hurts me so to have to tell myself the reality of it. You have no idea how much I have been through over these past few weeks. When I saw you at the gas station I was in the mist of the most neurotic road trip of my life. Do you have any idea how I got put into such a situation? Well I attempted to kill myself, but sadly I failed at that as well. I do not know what I am going to do know. I said I was fine, but I am anything but. I was on suicide watch by a 15 year-old who did not speak a word because of Friedrich Nietzsche. I have no job and sat in a van for days being lectured on the definition of a loser. Do you know what a loser is? Well in the mind of Richard, I am one because I gave up on life. Then again, he can go to hell. As crazy as it sounds, that road trip full of Rick James and arguing actually gave me strength to want to keep living. I guess that partly could be thanks to the Miss. Sunshine contest, the most disturbing display you have ever seen. I guess that contest or Rick James brought me together with family, discovering a place of belonging. Then again, I’m getting off-track. I wanted to let you know that I am trying to get over you. I am not sure if I ever will, but I’m going to try and I guess this road trip was my first step. For the record, I am the number one Proust scholar in the U.S. and your boyfriend, Larry Sugarman, is second. I thought you should know that as a fact. I guess everything that has happened is part of my suffering that will make me who I am similar to the French writer, Marcel Proust. So I guess all that happiness I would have had with you would have been a total waste. I guess I should realize that my suffering right now are the best years of my life.
Frank
P.S.-The porn was not for me