Dear dad
Dad,
I can't tell you how much I and the family miss you since you passed away on our expedition to the Little Miss Sunshine beauty pageant. I needed to let you know I've changed and I hope you're somehow watching me and already know this. Before the trip, I was far too consumed with my 9 step program to an extent that I truly believed that everyones life circumstances were a direct product of only choices made in a way winners made them or losers made them. Believing that, I labeled people winners and losers far too often. It began with Frank on this trip after trying to kill himself, and I think I laid into him pretty hard. I guess I didn't know him all that well making it easier to judge his situation. I found, as the trip progressed, my entire family, including myself, under my own standards to be losers and i don't know if I can truly deal with that. Dwayne found he was never going to be able to attend the Air Force Academy, a dream as you already know he spent the entirety of his attention on, due to his color blindness. Sheryl couldn't hold our family together despite her sincere attempts partially due to me and my tension-building lectures. At Little Miss sunshine, the family realized that there was no way Olive could win, even though she did possibly want it more then any of them and worked day and night with you. Even you left, dad, to a heroin overdose. It took my own failure, though, with Stan Grossman when he told me I the book deal on my program was not going to sell because of me that I realized the extent of what I had become. You told me at that point that you were still proud of me, even though I failed, because I tried it on my own. I brushed it off in the car as if I was beyond hearing that, but it meant a lot and I never got to tell you that. You gave me a grace I hadn't given to anyone in a long time. I didn't say any of this but I tried to live the rest of my experience on the trip in light of your words. When you died, I wouldn't have dreamed of giving a mightier then thou speech, just so you know. You also should have seen Olives performance, you would have been so overwhelmed. I actually got on stage and started shaking my ass like you taught her to do with Olive to let her do her thing. The result of how she placed didn't matter in the least to me as it did when we set out. These people, including you, have shown me that life goes beyond winners and losers and truly in who you are. If you truly try at something you want, it doesn't matter if you make it or not. The fact you gave as much as you did is praiseworthy by my new standards. I hope you know how much you are missed, loved, and remembered. I love you dad.
Your son,
Richard
ps. I hope you don't mind but the family and I stole your body from the hospital and shoved it in the trunk before the pageant. We almost got caught, but your little porn purchase saved us.